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Absolute unit

Basically an absolute unit is often used to describe someone who is larger but in the case of the Irish that’s not what it means. An absolute unit is just an idiot or someone who lets a lot get in the way of them.
“Ayo, you’re an absolute unit you are mun”
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Absolute Krusty

The act wherein the male ejaculates onto his partners hair while they sleep, resulting in a spiky and crispy hairdo that resembles the one worn by The Simpsons character Krusty The Clown.
"Doris looks rough today Keith, did you slip her an Absolute Krusty last night?.."
by Robbie Carton Comedian July 28, 2022
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Absolute ballshit

An act of unfairness and unpredictability
That’s absolute ballshit! FGR should have won again. Instead FGR decided to hit the woodwork, miss 1 on 1’s and lose
by BURYAREBASTARDS January 20, 2019
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Absolute faggotry

When someone is being so gay they become straight then gay again
Anyone who uses a shotgun I call of duty shows absolute faggotry
by Everduse July 18, 2025
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Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).
"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka
by bennydre April 30, 2013
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sitting awake at 3 am looking at goat pics, reporting morgz, and bing in a fucking stupid discord call with someone who have never met, and never will meet, because you have no real friends, no real life, and you are just overall a fucking failure as an individual. Meanwhile someone living about 10 mins away from you texts you that have been drawing dicks for the past hour for absolutely no reason other than that you probably ruined their life in some way, because you are a fucking cancer patient
its pretty damn gay having absolutely no life at all.
by lost_on_reddit July 27, 2019
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