Mental Health Hotline 

an answering machine listing mental problems and what button to press or what to do usually contrary to what the problem is!

You have called the mental health hotline.

If you are dislexic, please ressp noe.
If you are retarded, push the pretty pink button.
If you have dillusions, hold on we are transferring your call to the mothership.
If you have autism, press the digit corresponding to the number of friends you have.
If you are schizophrenic, wait here and the small voice will tell you what to do.
If you have ADD, nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You are a disgrace to humanity. Bring it on in our office. Press 2 for the location!
If you have aspergers, 10001110101110101001.
If you have low self-esteem, please call again. All the operators are busy.

Mental Health Hotline by Kamikaze Watermelon January 16, 2009

mental whiplash 

The feeling one gets after a painful sudden realization that something they once thought is not true.

"I had total mental whiplash when I found out it was Monday. I had thought it was Friday all day!"

"I thought I saw Susie at the mall so I gave her a hug, but she turned around and it turned out that it was just some random dude. Absolute mental whiplash."

mental whiplash by CrescentSunGoddess March 5, 2009

mental neutral

unable to focus on any one thing. forgetting what is 3" from your nose. not specific to old people.

unable to get the mind 'in gear'

i was gonna look up this word but my stupid mind went into mental neutral.

had sump'm i needed to do but now my minds' in mental neutral

mental neutral by michael foolsley November 22, 2009

Mental Tidy

A person who needs psychological help or treatment for their mental illness.

See Hillary over there? Her brother ass raped her for two years. She is going to need a mental tidy before I would date her.

Even if Mark David Chapman gets a mental tidy they need to keep his ass locked up.

Mental Tidy by MNMNMN January 10, 2006

Mental Health 

Mental Health is a disease that affects many lives, Leaving them with mild mental health issues or it can get serve and in a lot of cases it leads to suicide. It is also a general state of emotional and psychological well-being, as manifest by the ability to cope with and meet the demands of everyday life. Mental Health in most cases leaves you fighting a long hard battle for your life.

"My Mental Health Is Getting Worse"
"Mental Health Leaves Most People Fighting Battles They Never Saw Coming"

Mental Health by MentalHealthAwareness December 19, 2020

mental-floss 

device used in an attempt to remove a disturbing mental picture.

It's gone! Someone deleted onion ring from the Urban Dictionary. I can put away my mental floss. That was just gross!

mental-floss by Witchie-coo March 20, 2003

mental constipation 

Inability or unwillingness to express one's emotions. Creates the impression of a cold or unfeeling person. Often associated with having an anal personality. High doses of alcohol are the best known remedy.

He's got such a bad case of mental constipation, if he ever did say anything, shit would come out of his mouth!

mental constipation by Robodok January 7, 2009