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Postie-wank

The act of positioning oneself indoors by a letterbox and masturbating whilst waiting for a postie to deliver mail. The timing must be so immaculate, that ejaculation should occur as the postie’s hand enters the letterbox. To complete the process, the phrase “special delivery” should be exclaimed when semen strikes the unsuspecting Royal Mail officer.
Had a perfect postie-wank yesterday. Keeping that spreadsheet of my average post delivery times really paid off and I got him right on the thumb.
by You’ve got mail November 12, 2023
mugGet the Postie-wankmug.

Posties

1. Noun: (most common) nicotine rips mainly after a meal or other receptor priming activity
2. Noun: (less common) any ceremonious use of drugs after an important event
1. That Taco Bell slapped, can I hit your juul to take some posties?
2. that pregame was hype, I have some blow, anyone trying to rip posties?
by Suhdudeyonder July 15, 2021
mugGet the Postiesmug.

ghost posties

Glitch in a chat or instant message program that makes chat posts fail to appear.

Origin: Bazooka Joe-era kids' joke or riddle, "What do spooks have for breakfast?" Answer: "Ghost Toasties and Vanishing Cream" (after Post Toasties corn flake cereal).
"I'm going to have to switch screen names; I have the ghost posties. My comments aren't appearing."
by Trog2FdUp2C1 May 25, 2009
mugGet the ghost postiesmug.

Send it like a postie

When you are getting reading to have a big night
Hey boys tonight we are gonna send it like a postie
by Georgiewinter September 8, 2025
mugGet the Send it like a postiemug.

Posty

Being relegated to running around naked with a rock and torch, usually while malding.
I can't seem to get a start today, I'm going full Posty.
by Bauhs May 10, 2021
mugGet the Postymug.

Postie

A derogatory term for someone born post-9/11. Mainly attributed to American members of Gen Z and Gen Alpha.
What would you even know about it? You're a damn postie.
by Madison W September 10, 2023
mugGet the Postiemug.

Posty Mom

I’m not a regular mom, I’m a Posty mom.
by girlmom2018 January 26, 2021
mugGet the Posty Mommug.

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