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Maternal Blindness

Truly believing your ugly child is the best looking kid on the planet.
"Sara certainly has maternal blindness with her newest addition that baby is uglier than sin but she keeps bragging about how cute it is what is she thinking?"
by prfctlyflwd March 11, 2013
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Masternate

Slang, verb.

The order of progressively creepy moves being made by an awkward coworker. Starting out at slow offensive gestures increasing into larger more harassment crimes. Making sexual jokes or physically harassing coworkers, but not enough to get you fired. If you fail to identify the creepy coworker, you are the creepy coworker. AKA The Masternator.
John loves to masternate Susan, telling everyone how he wants to bend her knee and fuck it with his dick.
by GGLeroy December 5, 2016
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Masternate

When one rubs steak seasoning on their genitals before receiving oral sex
"Yeah she wanted to give me head, but I had to masternate before hand"
by DampedMaple March 13, 2020
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Masternate

When you smoked too much weed then cough and throw up
Masternate: When you smoked too much weed then cough and throw up

Nate’s in the parking lot masternating again.
by Caleb@oddly February 21, 2022
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MasterNap

When a male/female masturbates before bed, in an attempt to fall asleep during orgasm. Masturbation + Nap= Maternap
Timmy: jeez man you were out like a flash last night...?

Billy: yeah bro, had a cheeky masternap and fell right asleep

Timmy: aww man WTF thats sick

Billy: dont lie....we have all done it

Timmy: yeah....
by xXmC-KeNzIeXx November 18, 2011
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Mattern

Someone easily riled. Someone who over reacts and throws fits. Someone who smacks 14 year old children in the face.
I saw that Mattern smack her son in the face!
by Billy Jo Jim Bob February 29, 2008
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MaternaTaxi

When ambulance staff are called under emergency conditions to some NFS or other needy, who despite having had 9 months to arrange transport to the hospital to delivery their sprog, have entirely failed in this and had to call the Big Yellow Taxi.
Jim and I were on our way back to base for our overdue mealbreak when we copped for a MaternaTaxi. Ran 20 minutes on blue lights to some NFS who was sat on her doorstep with a suitcase.
by Hypoxic Joe February 2, 2008
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