rusty mallet 

When a man fake tans his penis resulting in it looking like a rusty mallet. (alternative definition: A heavy hammer object left out in the rain.)

Mike struck me with his rusty mallet this morning.

rusty mallet by Poodefiner June 29, 2014

timmy mallet 

Childrens TV presenter much loved by Tommy Boyd.

You love timmy mallet

timmy mallet by crawford February 9, 2004

fudge mallet 

The act of defecating into a sock and utilising said tool as a weapon.

Sweet mother of Jesus, Sally totally gave me the fudge mallet last night!

fudge mallet by Bawbag Johnson June 15, 2018

junk mallet

The act of injuring your genitals in order to avoid fucking an ugly person

I had to pull out the junk mallet before I took that butter face back to my house .

junk mallet by Caulkknocker March 7, 2019

Maryland Crab Mallet

When your significant other is on her menstrual cycle, you turn her sideways and make a fist. You slide 4 fingers in her love tunnel and jam your thumb in her anus. You bring her to orgasm and your hand looks like it’s covered in Old Bay and crab mustard when you pull it out.

She was on her period and I wanted crabs, so I gave her the Maryland Crab Mallet.

Maryland Crab Mallet by LowMansLyric469 June 5, 2023

Gettin' Me Mallet

When you hype up a dance circle but leave before it starts

This dance circle is amazing - I can't believe Connor was gettin' me mallet!

Gettin' Me Mallet by MyDensity August 24, 2019

timmy mallet 

a crazy mother fucker

ignore him, he's a timmy mallet

timmy mallet by tipsy March 10, 2004