Learned Helplessness

A disease for which the main symptom is never learning how to do simple tasks for yourself. Always asking others to do things for you--especially in the workplace. A carrier of the disease is usually fully dependent on coworkers and the employees below them.

"Hey Susie, I'm going to need you to put postage on this for me. I just never learned how to use the postage machine...I have learned helplessness"

"I've had learned helplessness ever since I got promoted to CEO. Can you copy this double-sided for me? I just can't bring myself to figure it out."

by Angry Rant June 9, 2009

learned the clarinet at school

Slang for 'able to give a fucking fantastic blowjob'.

"Let's just say she learned the clarinet at school," John replied, as his mates crowed loudly and patted him on the back.

by Ferretsoup November 7, 2012

learned

To be taught the proper procedure after making an obviously stupid mistake.

To be owned due to a lack of knowledge.

"Dang son, you just got learned!"

Maybe next time, you'll pay attention fool. LEARNED.

by IMretardo November 21, 2005

my learned friend

In a British court of law, the free/hired legal representation. Often used to point out discrepancies between what the representation said and what the evidence or testimony claimed.

Can be used for defence or prosecution lawyers.

Your honour, you may be so kind to notice that my learned friend made several incorrect assumptions early in this case, and based on her uncertainty over these matters, that what she said be stricken from the record.

by Gumba Gumba April 11, 2004

Learney

Is a beautiful girl who can be a tough one but always so caring of others she helps you out and gives her best mates fuel money, she is a one of a kind gal

Learney is amazing

by Kmmmla July 28, 2014

learned'd

A huge thread for a bunch of fags on NICOclub

Hey, let's all be gay and post random crap on the Learned'd thread today!

by NICOclub November 21, 2010

Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion

Actually written before the Revolution, by the Okhrana or secret police of the old Tsarist regime, round about the year 1900. Popularised by the later Communist leadership, the Nazis and others. Up there with the environmentalist "Chief Seattle" speech, the volley of excuses for the 2003 war in Iraq, Piltdown Man and the Donation of Constantine as one of the great fakes of history.

If you are suffering from insomnia, might I recommend you read this copy of the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?

by Fearman July 14, 2007