Crapsturbating

The act of masturbating while taking a crap.

I ate mexican food, then watched some dirty movies and spent the whole day crapsturbating.

by HardShralpingWy February 28, 2011

crapster

1.) An object or product made with shoddy and/or crude components.
2.) Characterized by faulty or inferior thinking.
3.) Used as an adjective to describe someone or something as overall inferior or wretched.

"John has a crapster computer in his basement that he built using spare parts from a pawn shop."

"You're using completely crapster logic in coming to that conclusion."

by triumvir April 19, 2006

crapitalism

Use of political favor, force, or position to benefit a for-profit business, but calling it "free-market". Similar to "mercantilism" from Colonial times, where the success of a business depended on the power of The Crown. Use of "crapitalism" is meant to be disparaging, but can also be used to show the difference between actual free market enterprises and those that depend on government support.

Dude A: "Those big Wall Street banks makin' all that smack when I ain't got a job is why capitalism sucks." Dude B: "Da big bankers work in crapitalism. They'd be out of business if it wasn't for all that help they get from The Man."

by scratchgolf November 16, 2009

crapsterpiece

A work of art that goes so far beyond bad, it is not redeemable even through the power of ridicule.

Mariah Carey's film debut, "Glitter," was a monumental crapsterpiece.

by Pencil Necked Geek February 27, 2005

Crapital One

The other name for Capital One. A bank holding company with a multitude of problems, such as:

- Their noisy slogan "What's in your Wallet?"
- Sending you spam mail for credit card offers every day
- Closing your account for requesting an unjust fee to be removed
- Misleading you to pay extra for services
- Automated dialing to your phone in violation of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act of 1991
- Randomly visiting you at home or your employer

Crapital One is something not to be trusted.

by The Real Driller December 11, 2022

crapstrap

A diaper, or poop containing device which one wears. Usually worn by the elderly. However, in West Virginia, birthplace of the crapstrap, there is a Federal Heath Mandate that requires residents of that state, regardless of age, educational background, or social status, to wear one with a lock. This lock is to prevent them from eating their poop. World renowned Sociologist and Psychologist are currently conducting a series of studies to find the root cause behind the West Virginians instinctive need to eat their own poop.

Grannpa' fergot tuhputch his crapstrap on again! Luuhks likeh werr eetchin' roy rogers tonightch!

by Boon Bones October 31, 2011

El Crapitán

The largest piece of floating crap in a shit archipelago.

See also; The Craptain of the Shit

After three flushes, it looks like El Crapitán still wont let go of the bowl.

by Edward K Monahan March 13, 2009