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Computer

A machine consisting of a processing unit, some form of memory, and peripheral devices for input and output. Used almost exclusively for updating Adobe Flash, updating Adobe PDF Reader, updating Java, and updating iTunes.
I have a lot of work to do on the computer today, my Adobe PDF Reader hasn't been updated since last night and my Java is nearly three days old!
by flamberge April 30, 2013
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Computer

The most useful and most frustrating thing any human being will ever work with.
The computer crashed again. I lost three thousand lines of code.
by Mystery Man January 28, 2003
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computer-face

v. to squint and kind of frown as you look at your computer to give the illusion that you are in fact very busy analyzing something vital to your work;

often used in conjunction with paper-shuffling and calling numbers that you know won't answer then acting really frustrated when you hang-up so that it gives the impression your chasing a very important account and have a lot on your plate already
After I computer-faced facebook for an hour this morning, I called a random number and talked to an older gentleman for 27 minutes about the prospect of leasing his mineral rights until he realized he didn't own any mineral rights, so I hung-up and went back to computer-facing a New York Times article about fashion week.
by waylonisthebombdotcom March 5, 2010
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school computer

A computer that the school sends you.

What you are bound to get in a school computer:

Old hardware

Bad Antivirus software

Extremely strict parental controls

The inability to download anything

Internet Explorer

An old integrated graphics card

The desire to buy a more powerful PC and then break your school computer over one of the teachers' heads

The desire to force the school to pay for said PC
"Uggh, this school computer is shit. I can't even change the background"

"Dude, I feel your pain. "

"Fuck this piece of shit. I'm gonna go save up for a better computer"

"Yeah, me too."
by Myswea T. Balls April 2, 2010
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computer science

The study of making porn more readily available, to make it easier and faster to download, and to make what you're looking for easier to find.
by MoonKnight November 18, 2002
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logic-tight compartment

The all-too-human capacity of intellectually separating important, foundational , even life-defining beliefs onto a practical "thinking landscape" of very different measures of truth criteria.
OK, so he's a neurosurgeon and completely understands the science that dead brains can't form memories and that strokes damage the nervous system in very specific, predictable ways; yet he persists in maintaining that the bible is literal truth...clearly, he must be relying on some logic-tight compartments to avoid massive confirmation bias.
by YAWA July 9, 2017
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comptar

Alternate spelling of "computer". Usually employed in reference to personal computers, often by fools or in jest.
"Dude, format c: broke my comptar! WTF!!1119!"
by Big Dave August 2, 2004
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