Lottery Ticket Asshole holds up the entire line at the convenience store, deciding what scratch-off lottery ticket they will waste their unemployment benefits on. They are convinced that their odds of winning improve, depending on what the scratch-off ticket looks like. Therefore they spend an incredible amount of time debating the issue, pissing off everyone else waiting in line. Sometimes, Lottery Ticket Asshole will even park their fat ass in front of the line, and scratch off the very ticket which they just purchased. God forbid you find yourself waiting behind the occasional Lottery Ticket / Cigarette Asshole combination personality. You will be waiting in line forever. Sometimes, Lottery Ticket Asshole will leave the store and climb into their Mustang, hence creating the possibility of the dreaded and oh-too-common Lottery Ticket Asshole / Cigarette Asshole / Mustang Asshole combination.
I got caught beinhd Lottery Ticket Asshole today while getting gas and a soda on my way to work. I ended up having to use a sick day because I was 6 hours late.
by mad genius December 5, 2010
Get the Lottery Ticket Asshole mug."Hey Barry, I watched the new episode of Loteplex yesterday. They made a joke about penis's and I couldn't stop laughing!"
by KEenstorMN August 12, 2020
Get the loteplex mug.by Matt..... August 23, 2008
Get the Lottery mug.Laundry Lottery
A situation where one finds cash in a random piece of clothing unexpectedly, where the subject receives and artificial sensation of euphoria, that last for about 5 seconds and feels as though they’ve won the $300 Million power ball. All negative thoughts quickly leave and regardless of the mood the subject is in, they will have a positive outlook on life for the remainder of the day. LL winners who find cash that they thought was originally spent, experience a dual sensation lasting approximately 10 seconds longer.
Situations that make winners of the laundry lottery.
(1) re-wearing clothes from a previous nights affair
(2) left over cash that survives a laundry run
(3) Disillusioned intoxication, where one forgets to pay random debts (e.g. waitresses, bartenders, drug dealers, etc).
A situation where one finds cash in a random piece of clothing unexpectedly, where the subject receives and artificial sensation of euphoria, that last for about 5 seconds and feels as though they’ve won the $300 Million power ball. All negative thoughts quickly leave and regardless of the mood the subject is in, they will have a positive outlook on life for the remainder of the day. LL winners who find cash that they thought was originally spent, experience a dual sensation lasting approximately 10 seconds longer.
Situations that make winners of the laundry lottery.
(1) re-wearing clothes from a previous nights affair
(2) left over cash that survives a laundry run
(3) Disillusioned intoxication, where one forgets to pay random debts (e.g. waitresses, bartenders, drug dealers, etc).
Morpheus: “What the fuck are you smiling about?”
Bob: “ I just won the laundry lottery.”
Morpheus: “How much this time?”
Bob: “Found a c-note in my shirt that I forgot to give to the hooker last week”
Bob: “ I just won the laundry lottery.”
Morpheus: “How much this time?”
Bob: “Found a c-note in my shirt that I forgot to give to the hooker last week”
by hellyea October 20, 2005
Get the Laundry Lottery mug.by whatastory April 2, 2009
Get the The lottery mug.A game played by lawbreakers wherein a large cash sum may be awarded after winning or, more commonly, settling a lawsuit against the city due to supposedly unjustifiable police action. Sums are awarded either to 'victims' or their grossly dysfunctional relatives, and typically spent frivolously within a short space of time on unnecessary goods.
How to enter:
1) Do not behave like a civilized human being
2) Do not co-operate with law enforcement under any circumstances
3) To the greatest extent possible, provoke the police into detaining or arresting
3) Resist detainment/arrest; claim it to be unlawful
4) Sustain fatal or serious injury (relatives of the deceased shall enter the lottery)
5) When contacted by toxic 'civil rights' lawyers, agree to everything
6) Tell the media that you "didn't do nothing" (or that your relative was "a good kid")
Please note: Entry into the ghetto lottery is possible only in cities with corrupt and extremely liberal district attorneys, judges, etc.
How to enter:
1) Do not behave like a civilized human being
2) Do not co-operate with law enforcement under any circumstances
3) To the greatest extent possible, provoke the police into detaining or arresting
3) Resist detainment/arrest; claim it to be unlawful
4) Sustain fatal or serious injury (relatives of the deceased shall enter the lottery)
5) When contacted by toxic 'civil rights' lawyers, agree to everything
6) Tell the media that you "didn't do nothing" (or that your relative was "a good kid")
Please note: Entry into the ghetto lottery is possible only in cities with corrupt and extremely liberal district attorneys, judges, etc.
- Quantavius Williams, 21, was shot and killed by police after reaching into his waistband while fleeing on foot following a dangerous high-speed vehicle pursuit. The City of Atlanta awarded his relatives $500,000 after settling a wrong death lawsuit.
- Markeesha Jones, 49, was detained after she refused to identify herself to police during a burglary investigation. Jones' attorneys claim that her civil rights were violated because the police had no reasonable suspicion to question her. The City of San Fransisco was ordered to award $8.5m to Markeesha and her daughter, Mo'nique.
- Connor Blackwell, 31, was arrested for leaving the scene of an accident and disorderly conduct, but was pronounced deceased after suffering a heart attack while in custody. Toxicology reports state that Smith, a felon with extensive criminal history, had acute levels of cocaine in his system. Bodycam footage also shows Smith resisting arrest for more than eight minutes before finally being handcuffed. Police and paramedics on scene were facing charges of negligent homicide, but they were dropped. The family's legal representatives say they want justice, and the City of Columbus is now facing a $5m wrongful death lawsuit.
Contrary to popular belief, the ghetto lottery can be won by any individual regardless of race or ethnicity. As long as you have contempt for law and order, your ticket can be secured.
- Markeesha Jones, 49, was detained after she refused to identify herself to police during a burglary investigation. Jones' attorneys claim that her civil rights were violated because the police had no reasonable suspicion to question her. The City of San Fransisco was ordered to award $8.5m to Markeesha and her daughter, Mo'nique.
- Connor Blackwell, 31, was arrested for leaving the scene of an accident and disorderly conduct, but was pronounced deceased after suffering a heart attack while in custody. Toxicology reports state that Smith, a felon with extensive criminal history, had acute levels of cocaine in his system. Bodycam footage also shows Smith resisting arrest for more than eight minutes before finally being handcuffed. Police and paramedics on scene were facing charges of negligent homicide, but they were dropped. The family's legal representatives say they want justice, and the City of Columbus is now facing a $5m wrongful death lawsuit.
Contrary to popular belief, the ghetto lottery can be won by any individual regardless of race or ethnicity. As long as you have contempt for law and order, your ticket can be secured.
by zadkovich March 9, 2023
Get the Ghetto lottery mug.She was soooo ugly, her ass was like a bouncey castle, she was so fat that she didn't have bingo wings but lottery wings
by mitch00uk April 5, 2015
Get the lottery wings mug.