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Matt.....'s definitions

bloody mary

A cocktail made from vodka, tomato juice, other spices, and a celery stick. Can also be used as a hangover cure. My recipe is:

1.5 shots vodka
2 shots tomato juice
2 shakes Worcestershire sauce
1 shake Tabasco
dash of horseradish
dash of salt & pepper.

Fill a highball glass with ice. Pour in the vodka, Worcestershire, Tabasco, and tomato juice, and stir with a celery stick. Dash the horseradish, then shake on pepper and salt (if using low-sodium tomato juice). Use the celery stick you stirred with as garnish.
Guy: BARKEEP! Another bloody mary!
Bartender: Dammit, Donnie, you've had 4 already, go home!
by Matt..... April 21, 2007
mugGet the bloody marymug.

Moral Orel

A humorous stop-motion show that appeared on adult swim. It centered around Orel, an 11/12 year old church goer who tries to do the right thing by living up to an extreme Protestant ethic. The show itself is a satire of Protestantism, Christianity, morality, and 1950s culture, just to name a few. As the show progressed it began incorporating more dark humor with its episodes. It aired for three seasons before it was denied renewal, most likely due to a combination of the episodes "Nature (part I and II)", "Numb," and "Alone."
Despite how dark Moral Orel ended, it is still a good satire that manages to get good jokes in.
by Matt..... May 25, 2009
mugGet the Moral Orelmug.

Olympics

An sporting event originating in Greece as an honor to the gods. In more modern times it has become an international sporting contest were most of the world's countries participate every four years. The athletes selected to participate are their country's cream of the crop and represent their home nation with unparalleled pride. Being awarded a medal means you are one of the best athletes in the world. A pure and true athletic spectacle that has unfortunately received less popularity in recent years.
The true, original definition of athleticism originated at the ancient Olympics. Being allowed to represent your country is considered the ultimate goal for almost every athlete in the world.
by Matt..... October 4, 2008
mugGet the Olympicsmug.

Foot massage

The rubbing and massaging of one's feet. Often interpreted as sensual. Something you never give another man's woman.
Vincent: I ain't saying it's right. But you're saying a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does. Now look, I've given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they don't, but they do, and that's what's so fucking cool about them. There's a sensuous thing going on where you don't talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Antwone should have fucking better known better. I mean, that's his fucking wife, man. He can't be expected to have a sense of humor about that shit. You know what I'm saying?

Jules: That's an interesting point. Come on, let's get into character.
by Matt..... March 7, 2011
mugGet the Foot massagemug.

Grammy Awards

Originally a respected award from its inception until the 80s, it's now a night of music industry masturbation. 90% of the awards are given based on how well an album sold rather than an artist's critical and artistic recognition. Mainstream, generic, and record label-designed songs and bands sweep the awards while more talented and deserving artists are either ignored completely or, should they get the nomination, left hanging in the wind while a commercially successful artist accepts an award s/he knew would be theirs as soon as their name was called.

Despite this, the jazz, classical, gospel/soul, and folk categories are still respected and the winning artists are held at a high esteem. These genres are less commercially popular than pop, rock, country, hip-hop, and r&b and as such artists are actually awarded based on merit and talent rather than record sales.

The night is self-contradicting in that there is always a speech about the importance of music education and the need for new artists, despite the same artists winning every time they're nominated and performances being lip synced and incredibly dull, with very few exceptions.
"I don't know what this means. I don't think it means anything... There's too many bands and you've heard it all before.... Thanks, I guess." - Eddie Vedder, 1996

"I think the Grammy Awards are nothing more than some gigantic promotional machine for the music industry. They cater to a low intellect and they feed the masses. They don't honor the arts or the artist for what he created. It's the music business celebrating itself. That's basically what it's all about." Maynard James Keenan, 2002

Despite 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy' being one of the highest rated album of all time, it was not nominated for Album of the Year in 2012.

Jazz and soul artists aren't awarded and don't perform on air because the needs of bland Katy Perry fans are more important than those genre's comparative handful of fans.

The only good Grammy Award performances in recent memory were Adele (2012), Dave Matthews Band (2010), and the Elton John/Lady Gaga duet (2008).
by Matt..... March 31, 2012
mugGet the Grammy Awardsmug.

bench jockey

A negative way of describing someone in the scientific field who spends a vast majority of his or her time in front of a bench or lab station performing mundane and repetitive tasks. The typical entry level position for college graduates who enter a science job and how disgruntled lab techs refer to themselves. Those who do well are typically promoted to a supervisory or managerial position before going on to get an advanced degree such as an MBA or PhD.
Billy got a bachelors in biology and his first job was working as a low paid bench jockey.

Brian got a masters in biology but still had to start off as a higher paid bench jockey.

Sue got a bachelors in biology and like her colleagues had to start as a bench jockey. After a few years she left to get her MBA and now oversees all of her company's bench jockeys.
by Matt..... April 22, 2011
mugGet the bench jockeymug.

Lottery

False hope; a tease; an "easy way out" that can never be obtained.
Billy spent $100 on lottery tickets and didn't even win that much back.
by Matt..... August 23, 2008
mugGet the Lotterymug.

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