investiHATE

Investigating a person for the main or sole purpose of hating on them.

I have to investiHATE this new guy that my homegirl is seeing

by A. Neal January 23, 2008

Military Police Investigations

A group of who’s main goal is to remain virgins for life, snitch on anyone for a fraction of a penny and be hated by all.

Infantry Private 1: “Yo did you hear Savagesniper078 joined Military Police Investigations?”
Infantry Private 2: “Savage must really have no self respect”
Infantry Private 3: “Yeah savage is gonna die a Virgin lol xd”

by Aigio Infantry Corps November 23, 2020

no investigation required

the act of telling someone to chill out with the questions

Me: Yo i met this mad nice girl yesterday

Person: What's her name? What school does she go to? Where does she live?

Me: Yo chill no investigation required

by jdsos March 16, 2009

Prostate Investigator

1. A man who likes to get another man drunk and then play Doctor. He will initiate anal sex and try to be serious and objective about the experience and anything he may find up there.

2. A Doctor that insists on checking your prostate every time you come in. He will typically leave his finger in a bit to long.

Part of speech: Noun

Alex: Dan stop being a Prostate Investigator!

Dan: I can't help it! I am drunk and like to pretend I am someone of the medical and/or gay persuasion...

by Pectabyte March 22, 2005

Darkhat Investigative Services

Comprised of many (primarily East Coast) employees, they work around the clock to dig up anything and everything that the world needs to know. Quick and reliable. The majority of their work is done for the betterment of mankind, but they are available to investigate private issues, albeit at a steep fee.

Darkhat Investigators is a top-notch online private investigating firm.

Darkhat Investigative services recently uncovered the fact that W.L. is a complete loser who enjoys making up stories about himself.

by Froggggy April 28, 2013

investidating

the selection of mate for assumed future monetary gain

lana: I don't understand why you are going out with that guy.. he lives on ramen and wears the same pair of jeans everyday

cassie: he's a med student! At some point he's probably going to be incredibly wealthy..

lana: oh I get it... you're investidating

cassie: well I'm certainly not after him for his penis size

by serrabelle May 11, 2011

Facebook Investigator

Similar to a private investigator, but they use facebook to obtain information about someone. Usually done by a friend, to find out information about a potential love interest. The investigator usually does not personally know the person they are investigating.

Johnny: hey, did you facebook friend Rebecca yet, so I can know her relationship status?
Facebook Investigator: yeah, turns out she is single, and looking for friendship.

Johnny: thanks man, I owe you.

by bicuspid2011 May 1, 2010