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selective finding disorder

A curious disorder predominantly affecting the male gender that when their wife, girlfriend or mother is under the same roof or within yelling distance they suddenly become incapable of finding any of their own or shared belongings. Such as keys, remote controls, phones, chargers etc.

When Selective Finding Disorder (SFD) hits, this man is easily upset often resulting in child like temper tantrums that commonly engage an entire household in a frantic search to find this lost item. Most often finally being found in the SFD patients own pocket or right in front of his temporarily blinded eyes!

Note: Often associated with selective hearing
As DUDE leaves for work and quickly returns to the house yelling and screaming...

DUDE: Baby!!! Where are my keys?? I can't find them anywhere
BABY: Check your pockets!
DUDE: I Did... common help me find them
BABY: If I have to get up and look for you because of your Selective Finding Disorder and they end up

being in your pocket you are making dinner tonight!
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Chinese Folding Man

A term that is used to describe when people who when tickled or stimulated in some way they begin to fold up like a transformer and squeal like a raging homosexual.
Guy 1: Bro, all i did was touch him on the side and he fukin started caving in on himself!
Guy 2:Sounds like a Chinese Folding Man bro.
by TheDumbruh January 9, 2019
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Fording

A act of making a series of bad decisions or poor life choices in row similar to that of former Toronto mayor Rob Ford.
Man, I was totally Fording last night .. I don't remember what happened but then I checked my phone.
by 976tec9 March 21, 2017
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Folding

When someone either physically or mentally crumbles due to: (a) alcohol, (b) drugs or, (c) women. If all 3 are combined that is said to be an L.
Took 5 codeine and then snorted a cap off that birds' tits, I'm folding into an origami dinosaur.
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finding sam

-'hey, wheres steve?'

-'fucking wanker is finding sam'

-'what a prick... might join him'
by steven godfrey June 14, 2008
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Finding a Job

Sleeping all day and not finding a job.
Yo dude I've been finding a job all day grandma, I don't have the time to visit you in the hospital.
by Pseudonamia February 21, 2009
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Funding secured.

When you have no idea where you're gonna get the money.
Elon Musk, 8/7/2018: "Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured." SEC opens investigation next day.

Me to my new girl: "Taking you to Hawaii this winter. Funding secured." Let's hope for a windfall...
by P Singer August 10, 2018
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