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Fasturbate 

The quick and painless act of masturbating in a time period of less than 5 minutes. Usually applies to young middle school students with a small penis and a weak sense of longevity. Can be good for breaks between classes and/or in class.
"Jebus, I really hope that the teacher doesn't catch me beatin' the meat, because I am terribly ashamed of my small penis. What if she laughs at me! Well, I guess i better fasturbate to make it quick!"

Judy: "Oh Steven come down on me!"
Steven: "Well, we have 10 feet till we get to the pick-up window to get our food. Can you fasturbate with me?"
Judy:"Oh yes! That would be lovely!"
Fasturbate by Sarga April 2, 2008

Faceturbating 

I was caught faceturbating to profile pictures of the hot asian with the big booty and nice titties.

Faceturbation

When someone likes his own status/photo/comment on Facebook.
Johnny: Feeling lonely tonight, think it's a good time for a little faceturbation..

*likes* *unlikes* *likes* *unlikes* *likes* *unlikes* AHHHHH *facegasm*

*mom comes in*

Johnny: OHHH GOD MOM I CAN EXPLAIN

Mom: What are you gonna explain, that you have no friends?
Faceturbation by pinkzeppelin09 December 27, 2011

facesterbating 

masturbating to photos on facebook.
I feel like such a creeper -- I was totally facesterbating to your little sister last night.
facesterbating by kookymiyuki March 1, 2011

fapsturbate 

Fapsturbating is when someone (girl or guy) masturbates to a guy fapping.
Isabelle likes to fapsturbate to her boyfriend when he faps on a skype call.

Faceturbating 

When someone likes their own activity on Facebook. Can be applied to other social networks.
Guy 1: (Likes his own status)
Guy 2: Dude stop faceturbating.
Faceturbating by Rusty Pecker December 25, 2010

Fansturbate 

When you take a dump that smells so bad the exhaust fan turns itself on.
Dude - I just took a dump that sparked a fansturbate!
Fansturbate by CaryAD April 23, 2008