Carusowned

A combination of the word "owned" and "Caruso", referencing David Caruso who is the lead actor on TV show CSI Miami. To Carusown someone you speak part of a statement, put sunglasses on, then conclude the statement. This is followed by the 'YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!' that begins the CSI Miami opening credits.

"Well it appears that I"
*put on sunglasses*
"... have beaten you at go fish"
*YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!*
"You just got carusowned."

by Scott Williamson Rockefeller January 3, 2009

ass cactus

A large, nut-filled turd that hurts the ass upon exit.

Man, that crap hurt! It was a real ass cactus!

by Bigsteve February 24, 2005

Cactus Hole

The prickly, itchy and often painful and scratchy state of the asshole after being shaved and the stubble starts to reappear.

My finger stank all week long cause I got the cactus hole.

Her damn cactus hole just about rubbed me raw last night when I took that ass to pound town.

My cactus hole was so bad that I asked our housekeeper to shave my bung.

by Dick Onchin September 2, 2020

Carlo Caruso

When you instagram friend request a 16 year old.

Owen: Yeah, he totally Carlo Caruso-ed her.

by Hugo Harlotbreath May 6, 2018

Cactus Humper

When a person the shaves their nederlands and it grows back to a stub and tears up their partner.

Man my g/f really turned me into a Cactus Humper last night.

by BoXeR311 January 9, 2005

Poo Cactus

Poo Cactus is the World's Largest Giant Anal Spiked Dildo. Leaves your asshole dripping blood and looking like a wizard's sleeve.

Dimensions:

Cactus (shaft) - 18in. long x 6in. diameter
Spikes - 3in. long (protruding from 'cactus' from multiple angles)

Poo Cactus is exactly the product you need if you feel your anal sex has been lacking those intense, noticeable sensations.
The bold, true-to-life size and tissue-ripping 3 inch metal spikes are guaranteed to have your anus throbbing for at least 3 days after use!*

*May vary based on proper bandaging of the anal walls and healing time (the pace at which your anus repairs itself). If you find you are recovering too fast for your liking, we recommend more aggressive usage.

Pooooooo Cactus!
The best cactus in the world!
Pooooooo Cactus!
Penetrating the asshole of every boy and every girl!

Example 2:
Rick: Dude you might have a serious injury, your ass is leakin' mad blood.
Greg: Nah it's all good, I tried Poo Cactus the other day. Still feeling it now, 3 days and I haven't stopped bleeding.
Rick: Holy shit, dude...
Greg: Yea it works like a charm!
Rick: Awesome! I wanna try, can I borrow yours?
Greg: Yea!
Rick: Yea!

by Anal Bleeder 429 September 9, 2010

Carusoism

Noun: Any comical yet retarded one-liner used for the sole purpose of mocking David Caruso of CSI: Miami.

Carusoisms are generally initiated by stating the first line with an upwardly skewed pitch, pausing to place aviators over the Carusoist's eyes. Ultimately, after a minuscule pause, a witty completion that ties the beginning words is uttered. Afterwards, the Carusoist is forced to quickly depart the area to the tune of "Won't Get Fooled Again" by the Who.

Without debate, the most vital step is the playing of "Wont Get Fooled Again" at the line completion, which completely validates the Carusoism.

CSI: Miami always opens with a Carusoism.
Man: Maybe he took off.
Caruso: Or maybe... *Put aviators on*...He got taken for a ride.
THEME: YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHUHHHH.
*Swiftly exit the room.*

by Scott Jund, Casey Leister, DJ Hawkes, Mike Nickler July 1, 2008