Alarm-cock

When your man wakes you up by pressing his boner into your thigh, butt, back, etc., indicating to you that he wants to have sex.

Karen: Jane you look so tired this morning!

Jane: Oh yeah, the alarm-cock went off about three times last night.

Karen: You go girl!

by Pratipax August 11, 2008

Alarm Clock Dyslexia

Alarm Clock Dyslexia is when one often fails to notice that the AM/PM settings are incorrect when they set their alarm. (this excludes the difference between noon and midnight, cause that is just downright confusing)

This syndrome is known to cause tardiness in the morning, however, few people know the syndrome even exists, and thus, people who do have the syndrome are often mislabeled as morons or nincompoops.

"I am a sufferer of alarm clock dyslexia, I was supposed to wake up at 6 this morning, but it turns out I set my alarm for 6 at night. When I explained my condition to my boss, he obviously had never heard of it... he asked me if i wore a helmet to bed, then told me to go sit in the corner and think about what i just said."

by 132299 April 16, 2009

Alarm shit

A shit that is so brutal, that it causes one to wake up in disbelief, and usually resulting to one running as fast as they can to the toilet.

Jeff: Hey man did you get some sleep?

Brian: Not at all, I was woken up by an alarm shit at 4 o'clock in the morning.

Jeff: I'm so sorry man, those goddamn alarm shits.

by TheMan31 November 26, 2013

alarm tard

Someone who sets multiple alarms. When each alarm goes off the alarm tard hits the snooze button as many times as possible. These people know exactly how many times they can hit snooze befor they are cut off too. That is why they have set multiple alarms. The alarm tard generally will make sure alarms are going off every 10 minutes for hours prior to their actual wake-up itme... HOURS!!!!

Alarm tard/alarm (ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man: "Grumble" falls back asleep
(ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man: "Grumble" falls back asleep
(ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man: "Grumble" falls back asleep
(ata): BEEP BEEP BEEP... hits snooze
Man:WTF!!!

by Dj Ezdik March 7, 2014

alarm shock

The feeling you get when you wake up on your day off work; on the weekend; or a public holiday as early as you would for work. Generally the alarm clock is off and there is no sound, but you still hear it for some annoying reason.

Of course you don't realise you can stay in bed all morning and for some moment feel like you never got any sleep at all.

Though, upon realisation (and falling back asleep) you feel better then if you woke up to your girlfriend fucking you. (well maybe not if shes good!)

Argh, I had alarm shock this morning and couldn’t' get back to sleep!

by Shizman September 26, 2007

alarm cock

Also see: Dirt Rooster

When a male wakes up his partner in the morning by ramming them in the rear with his cock and screaming "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo Beyotch!"

Does not work so well on a sleeper with an unusually loose anus, in which case they will continue to sleep like a baby....well...a baby with a loose anus anyway.

Warning: Repeated use may invoke adverse reactions from sleeper; including but not limited to; a bat over the head followed by an emphatic "Cock-A-Doodle-Don't MuthaFucka!"

"That bitch kept hitting the snooze button, so I had to wake her up with the Alarm Cock!"

by The Hunter May 27, 2004

alarm clock

An act of fellatio which wakes the person receiving. Usually results in immediate nutting due to surprise and overall awesomeness.

"Why's your girlfriend got a black eye?"
"I was tired, so I hit the snooze button"

by BWaldo May 2, 2005