Jetway Jesus

Falsely needing wheelchairs at airports, to get priority boarding when getting ON the plane, but NO LONGER NEED THE WHEELCHAIRS upon arrival.

On that last flight, 14 passengers got on the plane by wheelchair, but by the time we got to Los Angeles, 10 of them had been miraculously healed by "Jetway Jesus!"

by NobodyHereButUsChickens May 26, 2024

Jesus

Jesus a guy who buys his “stripper” aka his cousin Gucci shoes and flies her out to Tulum on a couple getaway

Hey did you see Jesus went to tulum

by Bookie602 May 26, 2024

Gentle Jesus

the greatest song made by the greatest band "uncle's gun"

man, I love Gentle Jesus by uncle's gun, its the best song in the world!

by Bone Cane May 28, 2024

Jesus loves you

Manipulation. A simple way to push your religion on people who don’t give a flying fuck about your book club.

*someone chilling and being themselves (typically people who are lgbtq)*
“Jesus loves you”

by Awe.skeetskeeg February 11, 2024

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024

Jesus Christ

The 2nd person in the trinity.

Jesus Christ: Jesus Christ is the son of God the Father. and he is also called the angel of YHWH in the Old Testament of the Bible. He came down to earth over 2000 years ago and he lived a sinless life and died for our sins. He was the ultimate sacrifice since he was God in the flesh, so his death meant that everybody's sins past present, and future were paid for. The only problem is, people actually have to accept his gift of salvation in order to receive it. You can choose to reject this gift.

by KekolordChri February 14, 2024

Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.

"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"

by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024