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Jesus

can this guy be just a very nice person that meditated a lot?
Doug: hey, J!
Jesus: hey, Forcett.
by wokeup2this July 8, 2022
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Black Jesus

Is the holy saviour of the hood and will punish all non-believers. He is worshiped via pouring orange juice over a white mans severed hand, then saying a prayer.
Therapist: Black Jesus isn't real dont worship him
Believer: No, Black Jesus is our saviour and you shall rot in the white man's hell!
by Danish_Cookie0908 February 16, 2020
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PopTart Jesus

He has a BIG dick that if enters you your legs will become useless.
by oashiojdiojsdf July 17, 2019
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Jesus

Means - God Saves. Salvation.

The Way, the Truth and the Life. Son of God. Messiah. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Jesus is Lord. The only one who can save our souls. His sinless, spotless blood was shed for humanity around 2,000 years ago. He is the most loving person you would ever know. Full of compassion and mercy, He revealed the loving nature of God. He knows everything about everyone. He is the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah. No one can compare to Jesus. He performed many miracles. He cast out demons. He healed everyone He met. He cured the blind, healed the crippled and lame, He preached on repentance and forgiveness. He is God in the flesh. Immanuel means literally 'God with us'. The first man to have been born into this world of a virgin and therefore able to live without the sinful nature and never sin once. He defeated death and rose again on the third day. His first disciples were martyred for the faith, brutally killed for preaching about what they had seen and heard with their own eyes.
"Jesus is my Lord and Saviour"
"Lord Jesus is beautiful beyond description."
"Jesus is my closest friend, I am going to meet Him in Heaven"

"Jesus wants us to love our enemies and love our neighbour as ourselves"

"Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, the risen Christ"

"Everything about Jesus is pure, right and true. He has the power to save us and make us whole. No one can ever love each one of us as much as He does"
by heavensjewels April 3, 2022
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Black Jesus

Man of few words. Great at basketball and athletics, gives his friends guidance and most importantly gets all the butches with his non-ashy skin
Black Jesus bagged that redbone, she a snack
by Izzydaballer February 7, 2017
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Jesus Card

When I say I pulled out the Jesus card: I have just done something almost impossible or something shouldn't have happened. (Got lucky as hell)
by Lore_boi October 26, 2020
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obama jesus

God like form of grand Master obama
"Obama Jesus will strike you down"
by Boymansupa September 13, 2021
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