masturbate

Something that Jesus watches you do. Especially when you are stuck in a porta-john and an angry tranny is banging on the door shouting "GO FASTER!"
As Bob stared at the midgets having sex on his computer monitor, he pulled out his pecker and masturbated. As he was in the middle of wankin' one out, he noticed it was dark outside and noticed a bluish light flash outside his window and heard a huge thunder. Suddenly, LIGHTNING STRUCK HIS HOUSE AND EVERYONE DIED!

And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."
by MrCat January 25, 2015
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masturbate

to fire ones death star
OR
to open ones fire hose
by Anonymous January 25, 2003
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masturbation

The act of blowing ones nose. Too much masturbation can cause chafing and not enough can cause build up of fluids.
"hand me a tissue, I need to masturbate" "I think I'm sick, I've been masturbating all day" "jimmy uses masturbation to clear his sinuses"
by Tranchinafy March 27, 2011
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Masturbation

Cumming on your hand/making lobe to your self
I love masturbating

Masturbation is amazimg
by Me.meme February 11, 2018
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Masturbate

When a young child thinks he's a god for touching himself for pleasure while looking at their step-mom or step-sis
by Niggerfan69 May 07, 2019
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masturbate

Well guys, I'm off to fly the airplane!
Man, I gotta go and shift gears!
by Your Ass September 27, 2003
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masturbate

To turn on the faucet, to polish the tube.
I masturbate every night!
by ASSHOLE! July 10, 2004
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