barbed surprise

When prior to sexual intercourse (more often non-consensual then consensual)a man wraps his man meat in barbed or razor wire.

This inflicts massive damage to the orfices that the perpetrator decides to defile with his god rod.

"My penis hurts so much after I gave Joseph a barbed surprise...but it was worth it."

by Argonak April 15, 2008

baked

Cooked in an oven. Let's forget the drugs for a moment, shall we?

I love homemade baked brownies.

by pridenpredjudice October 31, 2011

baked salmon

When a girls twat is burnt from tanning in the buff

Man I hooked up with Sarah, but she had baked salmon like a motherfucker, she was burnt to a crisp.

by Andy Bess and Adam Fletcher October 29, 2004

The Bard

A man who has a ninety thousand dollar job senior year of high school, who may or may not be a world leader, who once had a party so epic a pig's head ended up in his bathtub, who needs no sleep, who might be robotic, who is known to break the arms of those who surprise him, who will never cut off my dick.

The Bard is the greatest story teller of all time.

by hungrybear November 5, 2012

HALF-BAKED

Used to describe someone who is under the heavy influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

Jesus, I look at this band pic and you guys look HALF-BAKED.

by Joshiro007 February 15, 2003

bardies

the smelly, unshaved hippies who attend bard college in upstate new york.

"ew, there's a whole bunch of bardies hanging out at the pool."

"i went to go get ice cream at holy cow and there was a bardy behind me in line."

by cari.h November 15, 2011

Baked Potato

A baked potato, or jacket potato, is a potato that has been baked for eating. When well cooked, a baked potato has a fluffy interior and a crisp skin. It may be served with fillings and condiments such as butter, cheese, sour cream, gravy or even ground meat.

I woke up early yesterday morning and had incredible craving for a baked potato. I went downstairs and looked in the fridge and to my satisfaction, found unimaginable amounts of dishes containing baked potatoes. I tasted one potato and unsatisfied at the fact that it was so dry.
"It needs special sauce" i said to myself, and instantly ejaculated onto the floor. I then grabbed a handful of potatoes and rubbed them into the puddle of sticky cum on the ground and gobbled them up. It satisfied by desires for potatoes. However, there were more potatoes and i couldn't waste them. So i brought them to my room and slowly pushed each of the thousands of baked, crusty potatoes into my anus, one at a time, until there were no more baked potatoes. Yum.

by PedoBear3000 February 23, 2020