make baby jesus cry 

To engage in a spot of bashing the bishop, wanking, onanism, tossing off. Masturbation.

When I touch myself where it feels funny, it makes baby Jesus cry...

make baby jesus cry by demonaunt April 28, 2005

SamuraI Jesus 2024X 

The future in Samurai Jesus technology with dradle seeking crosses and teh nail gun from Quake (from his hands)-When he was created his prime objective was to eliminate Samurai Moses and dominate own all games of bloody knuckles...

"UR arse is mine -Samurai Jesus is bak biaaaaaaatch..."

SamuraI Jesus 2024X by Ace April 20, 2004

Heavy Metal Jesus 

-Yahoo Answers R&S resident.

-To live in ones parent's basement. To be a big fan of OMG EPIC power metal, hence the obnoxious name. To have maybe two or three friends irl, at most, but that is expected considering you get wood while staring at your Manowar poster.

-To suffer from unwarranted self importance. Ironically, when the real Heavy Metal Jesus sees this definition, it will most likely inflate his ego and without a doubt inflate his little solider as Manowar has now been mentioned twice. OMG EPIC POSING. To really get a Heavy Metal Jesus tingling, throw in a little DragonFarce with a pinch of Iced Earth.

- To be a \m/TRU METAL!!!!!\m/ virgin. SRSLY, Heavy Metal Jesus is a self admitted virgin. He'd be a mot more badassed if he listened to Mercyful Fate, but alas, he is a purist, power metal virgin and is intent on remaining that way. Silly Heavy Metal Jesus, virginity is for idiotic straight edgers.

Death to false Heavy Metal Jesus!

Heavy Metal Jesus by umaekmaehornie November 10, 2010

fluff your jesus 

It is when you pick up your Jesus pillow and shake it and squeeze it in order to fluff it up.

You: Wow, this Jesus pillow is pretty flat. Maybe I should fluff it up.
Me: Yeah, go ahead, fluff your jesus.

fluff your jesus by M-Dog August 7, 2004

Laser Jesus 

when somebody says laser jesus they mean a speed control camera. the word itself comes from the ancient sayings that jesus saved a lot of lives. Laser Jesus = a version of jesus that saves lives through laser beams.

GPS: "Laser Jesus coming up in 150 yards, slow down."

Laser Jesus by Hakif July 29, 2009

since jesus was an embryo 

This phrase, often used in Navy circles especially by Benz's while chastising wannabes, means "for a fucking long time."

"You guys have been here since Jesus was an embryo and you still can't do the Chief run!"

since jesus was an embryo by Billy B Bad February 15, 2015

omar jesus 

A chubby prison lesbian with a weird and small penis.

"Oh look at that Omar Jesus she is always hungry"

"When is that omar jesus chick getting out of prison?"

omar jesus by Gordapata May 5, 2015