Fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench 

Its just an exclamtion..either of surprise, horror, disgust, dismay...

Person 1: still another forty minutes of this boring lesson

Person 2: Aaah..fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench!

Fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench by The Wild Child January 4, 2008

south paw monkey spanker

One who uses his left hand to jack, whack, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior or in other words, MASTURBATE!

A lefty, per say

May be a person that writes, hits, or even smokes with his right hand but gallops the old lizzard with his left hand.

Also referred to as an S.P.M.P.

Kristine: So I used my teloscope last night and looked into Ray's window. Did you know that he is a South Paw Monkey Spanker?

Derek: So I applied for this new job at the Home Depot, and my boss wanted to know if I was an S.P.M.P. and I'm all wtf? On occasion, though, I do, do the five kunckle shuffle with 'ol Lefty!

Janet: Hey Bobby?
Bobby: Yes Janet?
Janet: Do you participate in genital stimulation via phallengetic motion with your left hand?
Bobby: Why yes, I am an S.P.M.P.!

south paw monkey spanker by Emas Diez May 9, 2006

pepper monkey 

A person who uses excessive amounts of pepper (black or white) on the food they prepare.

Term first used on Top Chef Season 1 to described an over peppered dish.

The cook is a serious pepper monkey.

pepper monkey by wingsabre March 16, 2007

cougar monkey 

somthing funny to say to a guy that is smoking pot

-smokes- friend says "hello Cougar Monkey "
everybody "hahahahaha"

cougar monkey by steven Darity February 1, 2008

alopecian appalacian ridgeback monkey 

A new rare breed of monkey that is born with hair and completely loses it by adulthood. This new species is found in the hollers of Tennessee. Also this monkey is known for its insatiable sexual appetite

The alopecian appalacian ridgeback monkey got extremely wet during the storm because it had not hair with which to keep itself dry.

alopecian appalacian ridgeback monkey by MichelleF1973 June 20, 2005

Wolf Monkey 

A hairy ass pussy

B: Ayo cuz, what was ol' girl pussy like?
O: Man, that broad had a Wolf Monkey. That shit was nasty, I ain't even hit.

Wolf Monkey by OROC April 2, 2009

fuck monkey

A girl who looks like she'll fulfill every sordid whim.
Used as a very simple scale:
Fuck Monkey or Sex Pixie.
Fuck Monkey: Usually in their late teens or early twenties, F.A.B. (firm and bendy).
Sex Pixie: As above, but not as obvious in their intent.

Oi! lads check out the fuck monkey at the bar. I bet she'll go around the world.

fuck monkey by Dom Drums April 19, 2006