Turtle Spear

A thin hollow tube of plastic for drinking liquids, also know as a straw. Occasionally found in the stomachs of animals and in the noses of turtles.

Starbucks Barista: How can I help you?
Jeremy: Can I get a Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato, minus the turtle spear?
Starbucks Barista: ...Excuse me?
Jeremy: A Turtle Spear.. you know, the thing used to drink your overpriced coffee and kill turtles?
Starbucks Barista: Ooh a straw! Sure thing.
Jeremy: Thank you! Just trying to save the world.

by @ComedicWizard April 08, 2019

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Throw the turtle

The act of throwing a turtle against the wall in a post masturbation rage. Or to pleasure yourself by vigarous masturbation.

When I read my old issues of Boys Life I have an overwhelming urge to throw the turtle.

by Poppy410 June 29, 2014

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Respect the turtle

Masturbate. Ask Craig Ferguson.

I was just in the bathroom trying to respect the turtle!

by Briana83 May 24, 2014

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Turtle Tugging

When you have your Turtle Beach headset on and your jerking off to porn off your console.

ME: "Hey, what up B!! What you up to?" B: "Just Turtle Tugging one out......MOM! GET OUT OF HERE!, Can't you see that I have my headset on??!!"

by Cant Hold MD February 09, 2011

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Stuffed Turtle

When a man allows his penis to invert inside his body and a woman uses a strap on dildo (or a man uses his erect penis) to penetrate the whole created by the inverted penis.

I'm so cold honey, quick give me the stuffed turtle before its too late!

by roboatse January 15, 2011

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