Turtle Man

A You Tube celebrity that wades in drainage ditches to hunt snapping turtles. He is currently up to 1.8 Million hits. He might be one of the biggest hillbillies of all time. His technique is to feel out the turtles with his feet and then yank them up and shriek out loud. Heeee-yip!

Turtle Man Quote - " I try not to smile cause I got ma teef knocked out by a chain saw."

Did you see the Turtle Man get bit by that huge snapper?

by WindowLicker9000 January 29, 2010

turtle's head dick

Extremely small penis caused by excessive fat in the pubic/groin area. Penis can shrink back into the scrotum and totally disappear, like a turtle's head.

Since I've put on all this weight I've developed a turtle's head dick! Every time I look down at it the head sucks back into my scotum. Poof! Out of sight!

by talk2me-JCH2 February 24, 2021

turtle syndrome

turtle syndrome occurs when men experience cold temperatures and their testicles and shaft shrink and move close to the groin, resembling a turtle retreating into its shell.

this water is so cold, i've got big time turtle syndrome.

by ross turner December 6, 2007

turtle wax

A term used to describe someone who waxes, or appears to wax, their pubic hair.

It's as smooth as a tortoise's shell down there - I just got me a turtle wax!

by Jazzual December 18, 2012

turtle wax

The act of ejaculating in someone's helmet while it is left unattended, then getting them to place it on their head. A practical joke particular to the military.

Joe left his helmet in the truck so I rubbed one out in it then he put it on, it was the perfect turtle wax.

by Aco FIST October 22, 2013

Turtle Flower

Tis Cabbages.

A:hmm .... you like turtle flowers?
B: what are those
A: cabbages
B:What the fuck are you talking about, we are in the middle of a hearthsurgery... snap out of it.

by SneakySorrow August 20, 2021

Turtle Heading

When shit starts playing Peek-a-Boo with your butthole.

Bro we really need to find a shitter! I've been Turtle Heading for the last 20 minutes! If I don't get there soon Mr. Hankey is gonna come visit.

by RoyalTokes July 7, 2018