VERB
When you are having sexual intercourse with a girl and are about to ejaculate, you have her lay on her back and close her eyes as if you were about to goo all over her face. You then proceed to either A) stand over her (feet on either side of her torso), or B) kneel so that each of your legs are on either side of her body. When you both have assumed the position and she has her eyes closed, instead of ejaculating you proceed to poop all over her chest/body/torso area rather than goo-ing.
As an added bonus, you can proceed to laugh at her and then ejaculate onto her face.
This is called the Cryptic Dumper because after you complete this new fangled move, the person who got dumped on will be incredibly confused.
When you are having sexual intercourse with a girl and are about to ejaculate, you have her lay on her back and close her eyes as if you were about to goo all over her face. You then proceed to either A) stand over her (feet on either side of her torso), or B) kneel so that each of your legs are on either side of her body. When you both have assumed the position and she has her eyes closed, instead of ejaculating you proceed to poop all over her chest/body/torso area rather than goo-ing.
As an added bonus, you can proceed to laugh at her and then ejaculate onto her face.
This is called the Cryptic Dumper because after you complete this new fangled move, the person who got dumped on will be incredibly confused.
Jack: Dude I totally gave Rita the Cryptic Dumper last night.
Mark: Haha! I hope you then laughed at her afterwards to rub in the totally embarrassing moment!!
Jack: I so did...I laughed so hard...
Mark: I love you...
Jack: I love you too sweet prince...
(kiss)
Mark: Haha! I hope you then laughed at her afterwards to rub in the totally embarrassing moment!!
Jack: I so did...I laughed so hard...
Mark: I love you...
Jack: I love you too sweet prince...
(kiss)
by jaketd12 February 22, 2010
Get the Cryptic Dumper mug.A portmanteau of "cry" and "iPod" - that is, something that can cry for hours and hours very loudly without stopping, specifically a baby or small child.
by d4rk May 18, 2006
Get the crypod mug.Related Words
Cryptic
• cryptocurrency
• cryptopsy
• crypt keeper
• crypt
• crypto
• cryp
• Crypto-Cuck
• Cryptard
• Cryptozoology
A member of the 'Seduction Community', otherwise know as a 'Pick Up Artist' (PUA).
A man who conducts their interaction with women like a pantomime (i.e. inventing a character for themselves) come came of chess, using mind games and 'techniques' as layed down and pre-tested by the PUA band of merry misogynists, in the hope of fooling women in to sleeping with them.
A man who puts on a false persona with women and keeps their real agenda hidden. A secret rapist.
A man who conducts their interaction with women like a pantomime (i.e. inventing a character for themselves) come came of chess, using mind games and 'techniques' as layed down and pre-tested by the PUA band of merry misogynists, in the hope of fooling women in to sleeping with them.
A man who puts on a false persona with women and keeps their real agenda hidden. A secret rapist.
Woman A: "That guy who chatted me up at the bar last night came across like he was reading from a script."
Woman B: "Probably a cryptorapist."
Woman B: "Probably a cryptorapist."
by Rasberries September 4, 2011
Get the Cryptorapist mug.The very tiny zone of species close enough to humans, where it's legal to have sex with them, yet far enough from humans where it's legal to kill them.
"Your turn, Frank. When you find Bigfoot, will you fuck him or kill him?"
"Well both options are legal, aren't they, because Bigfoot is in the Cryptid Goldilocks Zone."
"Well both options are legal, aren't they, because Bigfoot is in the Cryptid Goldilocks Zone."
by offender-go May 26, 2021
Get the Cryptid Goldilocks Zone mug.people who post cryptic messages on facebook in an attempt to generate inquiries about their emotional turmoil.
(insert cryptic facebook status that is directed towards a particular person who probably also communicates in cryptic facebook statuses because they fail to communicate directly and instead elect to post cryptic facebook statuses for all of Facebook to see and comment on)
(insert cryptic facebook status that is directed towards a particular person who probably also communicates in cryptic facebook statuses because they fail to communicate directly and instead elect to post cryptic facebook statuses for all of Facebook to see and comment on)
Homegirl is being a Cryptkeeper again on her Facebook status.
by googles33 June 24, 2010
Get the Cryptkeeper mug.Describes human sexuality where the actual nature of one's attractions and fantasies is a closely-guarded secret, even from one's self. It is thought to describe the natural state of most human adults.
A: I think Joe might be gay.
B: Who knows? Even Joe probably doesn't know. Like most of us, he's a cryptoqueer.
B: Who knows? Even Joe probably doesn't know. Like most of us, he's a cryptoqueer.
by episiarch April 26, 2017
Get the cryptoqueer mug.by Florida__Man January 12, 2018
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