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The Battery Conservation Paradox

The decision faced when prompted with a low battery on a device such as a phone or ipod you wish to use later. Brought on by the fear that by going through the energy-consuming act of turning off the device you may actually use the last of the battery you are trying to conserve.
As Jenny needed her phone to call a cab later but had minimal battery left, she was faced with the Battery Conservation Paradox. Did she dare attempt to turn off her phone lest it die completely?
by Senormeowington October 14, 2011
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Sexual Assault/Battery

Hym "If someone commits an act of sexual assault/battery by, oh I don't know, putting their dick on your shoulder, you should press charges against them immediately. That's LITERALLY sexual battery. Press charges and have them imprisoned so that their 2nd amendment rights are taken away FOREVER. And, if it's in the workplace, sue them and take their money IN ADDITION TO pressing charges criminally for the blatant act of sexual battery against you. Felons don't deserve 2nd amendment rights. And I'm committed to ensuring that their second amendment rights are taken from them. If you have been sexually battered... Go to the police. The statue of limitations is up to 10 YEARS. So, if a know sexual batterer, hasn't been imprisoned for secual battery yet. You can do that now. He committed a crime against you and you deserve justice."
by Hym Iam September 22, 2023
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Battery Slap

A battery slap is an attack commonly used by cretins to stun their opponents. To perform the battery slap, creep up behind your victim and hit them on the back of their head with the wires of your battery pack. This will stun them for 3 moves, allowing you to do a follow up attack, such as a bean slap.
Person A: ...
Person B: “watch, I’ll battery slap them.”
-slap-
Person A: “ahhh help, I’m stunned and can’t defend myself!”
by KingPrimo November 28, 2019
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1% battery

Causes ptsd for minutes
When my phone reached 1% battery it made me think back on nam.
by Epic gamer 69420 August 19, 2021
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battery acid kink

when you feel a little riled up by some battery acid
“i like to chug battery acid during sex”
“that’s kinky”
“yeah i have a battery acid kink”
by iminfrenchclass March 3, 2021
mugGet the battery acid kinkmug.

why does a banana battery work

The banana battery works because of kinetic energy and static electricity
Connecting together and making fireworks and killing your family
human one: i just why does a banana battery work my family

human steve: damn bro thats sick

jesus: why did i create humans just for them to make love with their family to later kill them.
by corgi lover1234 January 9, 2025
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Battery Pack

When you hype a person up too much and that person believes the hype.
Y’all must of put a battery pack on Kev the way he was talking all that shit……
by 2shotAb September 13, 2025
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