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The Shields

A male who talks non stop from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep. It is unclear whether or not he talks during his sleep. Generally, 95% of his conversations are about himself and his need for reaffirmation through material possessions. He is described as a narcissistic womanizer who takes pride in numbers but is so dumb he is forced to use a calculator. He is COMPLETELY incapable of handling a strikeout and would rather sleep on the bathroom floor spooning the toilet. His hands are made of glass and break quite easily while punching, and he loves to get undressed and oiled, buttered, and salted up and play leap frog.
Hey man, anyone want to play The Shields leap frog with me?
by Axion Jackson October 25, 2014
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Grant shields

Tattererd ass
well my pants look like grant shields.
by idkidkidk69 December 13, 2016
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butthole shielding

When you squeeze your asscheeks together to protect your butthole. A person who executes this act is likely doing it for one of two reasons:

1) To hold in a turd when you really have to take a shit
2) Protect yourself from butt rape
Person 1: Why is Carly walking so funny? I bet she had anal for the first time last night and her asshole hurts! WHORE!
Person 2: It looks like she is actually butthole shielding. I bet she has diarrhea.
by laserboy January 8, 2016
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Energy Shield

When the universe and all that is in it seems to cock-block you so hard it hurts.
Homie: Hey man, how're you and Autumn going?
You: Not too good, there's a damn energy shield in my way.
by PlasmaBolt January 26, 2016
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slammer shield

when you text the name of your state police agency to your phone to prevent them from apprehending you
The slammer shield kept the historical American’s friends out of prison during their illegitimate times.
by Coop Dupe December 8, 2019
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Gender Shield

The defense mechanism that women use to ensure that men cannot stand up for themselves when they are bullied by women.
Laura insulted Mark who then made a comeback. But then Laura used her gender shield and started to cry making Mark look like a dick.
by eanrua1 December 14, 2019
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Matthew Shields

A man with a chode
Oh hey Matthew Shields
“Sup, I got a chode”
by Didlofaggins January 17, 2020
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