Skip to main content

The TV thing 

this difinition is commanly used when the name of the television remote suddenly seems to escape your mind. Mostly used by forgetful, idiotic, coach potatoes which are to lazy to get up and reach for the remote or are to unpatient to wait until the items actually name returns to them. This is usually the last resort of what someone would and could ever call their TV remotes.
coach potato blob boy: MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! where's the....umm....the.....you know...the, it has buttons.

coach potatoes mother: what do you want now?

coach potato blob boy: where's the...the TV thing??
The TV thing by oxjoshleighox July 30, 2010

“The truth shall set you free” 

Actually, this saying is ITSELF one of the LEAST “true” statements of all time… as we are all too painfully aware, “coming clean” to the powers-that-be (i.e., parents, teachers, policemen, etc.) seldom if ever actually gains or maintains your “freedom”; in fact, usually the **exact opposite** occurs whenever you bravely/penitently reveal your shameful secrets like this --- rather than their extending any significant “charity” (i.e., mercy or forgiveness) to you in response to your trustingly/naively-admitted revelations of past transgressions, these hypocritical and out-of-touch-with-reality sadists generally do everything they can to CURTAIL your freedom and otherwise make you as miserable as possible, such as giving you an extended time-out, grounding you for an outrageously-long period, making you stay in from recess, throwing you in the slammer for a few days, and so on. So unless there is some serious injustice that your silence is maintaining (such as that an innocent person is being blamed/punished for something that you did), it’s usually wise to follow Will Roger’s advice to “never pass up a good chance to shut up”… contrary to what these authority-figures may try to assure you, they generally do **not** “have your best interests at heart”… about all they actually wanna do is try to soothe their **own** perpetually-gnawing consciences by being overly hard on anyone under their care!
My conscience was pricking me after hearing the local minister preaching about “the truth shall set you free”, and so like the total dumba** that I am, I went to the police station and admitted to the desk-sergeant about my having swiped a few candy-bars and a couple bottles of soda from the local Circle-K over the past six months; rather than just smiling and praising me for “being a good boy” to be so honest, though, the officer merely slapped da cuffs on me and made me cool my heels in jail for 48 hours! Talk about a letdown --- he didn’t even seem to care about my protests that he was blatantly going against what the preacher had just said was supposed to happen when we admit our sins! I think I’ll sue that minister for misrepresentation and deceitful speech --- I shoulda merely kept my big mouth shut, just as I always have in the past regarding stuff like this! And then he wonders why he has such a hard time gaining or keeping church-members!

henry the third 

Rhyming slang for turd
My bowls are going to explode-I need to drop a henry the third
henry the third by Hoges Hogan December 2, 2005

drain the tuna 

Used to describe the action of a female pleasuring themselves by means of fingers in and around their genetals.
"wow, check my mum, she likes to drain the tuna"
drain the tuna by Tommy_G December 21, 2007

Torturing The Turtle 

"Where is Rob?"
"He is in his room torturing the turtle."
Torturing The Turtle by Matlor March 6, 2008

Snowflaking The Teapot 

A sexual act where whilst the man teabags his partner he ejaculates on their torso.
Would you like to snowflake the teapot tonight love?

Ah lads, I was in the middle of snowflaking the teapot last night when her mum walked in