Robert from Microsoft

He will email you about your Xbox

Hello, I am Robert from Microsoft report. We were alerted that there is a virus on your Xbox One and I am going to help you through the process of getting it removed. If you could call me as soon as you see this message that would be great as I am available all day today. The sooner we can get the virus removed the better it will be for your safety.

by painpob February 21, 2022

microsoft

evil and bad company

person 1: i work at microsoft
person 2: DIE!!!!

by p01uyt September 5, 2024

Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry

A buggy process that opens 4 times a day on windows 10/11 and takes up all your RAM and CPU usage.

"why the hell is my computer acting so buggy?"
opens task manager
''Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry taking up 40 decillion gigs of ram please throw out computer and give us more money right now or we'll kill you.

by iminhellplshelpahhh December 27, 2024

microsofting

When an important person in Microsoft decides to release unimportant feature updates to their operating system and stuffs the system with bloatware. (microsofting)

Example: "The microsofting era has begun yet again."

by person who is ordinary June 30, 2025

Microsofted

When a previously good product or service becomes worse due to corporate acquisition, poor integration, conflicting priorities, or the influence of a larger company's bureaucratic approach to product development.

"Ever since the partnership started, ChatGPT totally got microsofted - it's just not the same anymore."

by Itsanamune July 14, 2025

Microsoft Edger

A chronically online tech nerd/gooner with a really small penis that likes to go online a lot and goon. Usually a Reddit user with a neck beard that has no life yet enjoys going online to post dumb shit or belittle others. Not all of them wear fedoras, but some do. Commonly also found on Discord

Hey, did you see the way that person on fb replied to me? It’s giving real Microsoft Edger energy……

by Can you burn a Luigi board November 17, 2025

Microsoft Paradox

When Windows demands that you change your password, but the only way to do it is through the Microsoft cloud portal, which is locked behind Microsoft Authenticator… and that piece of shit app just spins forever like it’s personally fucking you. The perfect loop of corporate incompetence.

Why is Amber drinking at work?
The Microsoft Paradox raw-dogged her entire morning.

by BranDamag3 November 19, 2025