Condom Connoisseur

One who knows his or her way around the condom section on the local drug store to a frightening degree….

Have you ever seen that episode of Aqua teen hunger force where they use a ray to enlarge Carl‘s genitals and crabs start crawling out of his shorts? He is NOT a Condom Connoisseur.

by umpa lumpa Dude July 5, 2006

condom machine

A thing that is in every truck stop bathroom. Allows the trucker to get a rubber, so he can fuck one of those skanky hookers that hang around truck stops, without the embarrasment of going up to the cashier. Also commonly used by 16 year old boys. The condoms usually cost 75 cents.

Trucker: (Just got done shitting) Looks up at condom machine above the toilet. "Hmm, there done be a lot of skanks hangin out in the parkin lot. Better grab a rubber."

by JJ Hard-on September 7, 2007

Condom titties

Noun; Natural breasts with more skin that fat, as to seem like condoms filled with cottage cheese.

Brittany: (with her breasts exposed) ...but Frey'yud, why shood I git inplants?

Thomas: Be'cause your tiddies look like cottage cheese in two condoms - one made for blacks and one made for Asians.

Brittany: Thomas!

Thomas: Condom titties Con... Cond... (vomits to the side)

by An Honest Mormon February 26, 2009

condom chandelier

when you take your used condoms, still with semen in them, freeze them and hang them from your roommate's bed

Justin pissed me off the other day, so i gave him a condom chandelier

by jimbo18 December 21, 2006

condom sex

Sex that involves (when especially not pleasurable) the use of a standard or generic condom; the event in which a man's sexual experience, stimulation or pleasure is stunted by the condom. Typically used as a negative term but has known benefits such as (sometimes) feeding a man's stamina in order to further satisfy his partner.

I slept with Wendy from psychology class last night but the dry rubber we used produced condom sex.

Because we had condom sex, I was able to last much longer with Julie.

by 124389538ythry December 7, 2012

Condom Sure

When you are just a small amount under 100 percent sure of something, but you recognize slim possiblity that you are wrong. You are as sure of something as a condom is preventative. You are 99.9 percent sure.

"I'm condom sure that global warming is real."

"Are you sure you're ok to drive home? Are you condom sure?"

by XombiEZ September 9, 2011

condom block

the terrible act of going limp while putting on a condom

Frank: Did you bang that chick last night?
You: Nah, I got a serious case of condom block and couldn't finish the deal

by Laho Zeher March 11, 2012