Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.

Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.

by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021

April Jesus

Is typically any hot girl that colours her hair different primary colours on a regular weekly basis and struts around with a beautiful figure. She's the type of girl who isn't afraid to take photos in alleys in your downtown districts while in the rain. Hence April as in April showers and her beautiful figure is where Jesus' miracle of giving beauty comes in. Hence April Jesus.

Hey, check out April Jesus over there. Woot woot!

Look at those April Jesus' (used when seeing a big group of hot girls with primary hair colour)
Dam, she's an ugly April Jesus. (used when you see an ugly girl with a primary hair colour. so.. an April Jesus reject or a weeaboo)
Hey, I just saw April Jesus walking in the park.
Fuck you April Jesus! (used when upset with an April Jesus)

by lilacgirl97 May 26, 2022

jesus

The Jewish religious teacher whose life, death, and resurrection. (thats it)

jessica: I love jesus!
jake: I know right!

by avilover12 November 22, 2021

Jesus Tear

that tear someone(preferably a chick) gets when she’s sucking your dick and goes to deep....

(on chick to another) i went down on him so deep i gag’d n got a jesus tear

by bootsherk March 27, 2018

jesus serpent

when a serpent is as hot as jug head and as daddy material as FP with the hot as hell persona of toni

"NO MOM Kanye West is a jesus serpent not bill cosby" or also

"damn i'd like to smash that jesus serpant of a man they call jimmy fallon"

by kindofanicon June 12, 2018

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024

Jesus

Homo walking hairy pig.
Likes ducks and is covered in pimples

The pig eats jesus is the same as saying jesus eats the jesus or jesus eats the pig or the pig eats the pig. All same meaning m8

by Showi April 19, 2018