guido

fake tanned
wear fake huge chains
embarrasment 2 italians
use hairgel like its water
have tapeups
wear colored contacts
invade clubs and mallsespecially diesel stores or armani exchange
pimp out there honda accords or jettas
blast techno music
OHH YEAHH && WHY DO GUIDOS ALWAYZ TEND 2 POSE EITHER WITH THEIR LIPS PUCKEREDwhich is rather gay OR THEY HAVE THEIR CHIN UP AS IF THEY ARE GOIN TO MESS U UP?

WE NEED 2 STOP THE PLAGUE OF GUIDOS WE MUST TRY AND WIPE THIS GROUP OUT
THEY NUMBER OF THEM ARE GROWING DAILY
THEY ARE INVADINGGG esPECIALLY MALLS

Omg i think i am getting guido-aphobic in this frickin mall

by iTaLiaNxgUrL November 2, 2006

guido

1. an insult to anybody who is actually Italian.

2. over tanned, hair crazed, big chested morons who drive shitty cars with rims that cost more than the car does.

3. Dress like complete jerk offs in a vain attempt to look cool and still go to clubs long after they should.

Guido: Hey, look at me, I'm Italian!!

Real Italian: Shut the hell up, you wannabe. (Proceeds to beat the piss out of loud mouth Guido wih baseball bat).

by Cowboyssuck August 31, 2010

guido

To sum it up, one could say it's the crossbreed between a "douchebag" and a "metrosexual".

Lisa - "Hey do you see that eurotrash pretty boy with the tight abercrombie shirt, spiked hair, and waxed eyebrows?"

Tina - "Yeah I thought he was gay, but then I realized he and his buddies had shitty macho boy attitudes. What a bunch of total douchebags."

Lisa - "No just a guido. The big muscles are supposed to make up for their small penis. I bet the one in the wifebeater isn't even Italian"

by badgonegood March 7, 2008

guidette

A stupid whore with bleached blond dyed hair with excess black roots, gel/ hairspray, highlights, and eyemake up. Extra fake boobs usually pop out of the "Italian Princess" shirt that was purchased 10 sized too small with an exposed long dangly silver belly button ring that was most likely pierced at a grimey stand on the board walk. Stretchy fake denim jeans in which the playboy G string will be exposed to accent the playboy bunny necklace that can be found around the neck.
You can find these specimens on myspace whoring themselves, on a guido's top eight, at any grimey club that plays DJ insane, or at local malls usually socializing with other guidos and guidettes.
If spotted, feel free to hock a loogie.

Katie: Hey, did you see that guidette?
Sam: Yeah, I hocked a loogie at her.
Jen: She was irish.

by Judgeram September 3, 2006

Michigan Guido

A breed of Guido only spotted during the colder, snowy months of the year. Unlike the regular Guido which can be spotted by it's signature "popped collar", the Michigan Guido uses a scarf worn indoors to signify his faggotry with a shirt one-half size too small, as to sell tickets to his gun show. Also worth noting, this particular breed (because let's be honest, any Guido is sub-human) will have the typical pursed lips, over-sized fake diamond earring, Oompa-Loompa tan, and non-gelled Wop-Dago hair. Not to outdone by their Jersey counterparts, what they lack in spikey Aqua-Nettitude, they make up for in utter fucktardation, with a dash of douchebaggery, and a heaping load of assfaggery.

I swear to Christ if that fucking Michigan Guido moved my barstool one more time I would have set his scarf on fire had I a little moar whiskey in my system, and if somebody wouldn't have stopped me.

by dean teh peen January 8, 2009

One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple Penetrating Fist Pumping Midget Guido Roofie Slipping Panty Bandit

A mystical midget Guido that enjoys fist pumping girls that have been roofied in the ass. This often causes tell-tell bruises on the butt cheeks at midget height. His magical one horn allows him to remove women’s panties with out there knowledge. His keen perpetrating skills allow him to steal random item of interest. This can include: Credit cards, iPods and women’s virginity. He is also an Ace with the Mexican Air force.

Rob: Once again my fiancé was perpetrated by a One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple Penetrating Fist Pumping Midget Guido Roofie Slipping Panty Bandit in Atlantic City.

Jack: Just look on the bright side, its better then cleaning her up after good time’s with good friend’s and some hot lunche's!

Rob: Ya, your right... I'll just Shot! Shot! Shot, Shot Shot! her other but cheek, what a hotmess!

by bboy domo.... January 18, 2010

Guidoville

A neighborhood where many Guidos live or are thought to live, such as the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn in New York City.

Shortly after the death of Yusuf Hawkins in Bensonhurst in 1989, columnist Pete Hamill wrote a highly controversial column in the New York Post entitled, "The Lesson of Howard Beach Was Lost on the Punks of Guidoville."

by Anthony Brancato April 20, 2003