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Microsoft Agent

The technology used for BonziBUDDY and MaxALERT. Made by Bill Gates.
BonziBUDDY uses Microsoft Agent technology.
Microsoft Agent is a fun way to make characters come to life with technology.
by LogoMan404 May 9, 2024
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Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry

A buggy process that opens 4 times a day on windows 10/11 and takes up all your RAM and CPU usage.
"why the hell is my computer acting so buggy?"
opens task manager
''Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry taking up 40 decillion gigs of ram please throw out computer and give us more money right now or we'll kill you.
by iminhellplshelpahhh December 27, 2024
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Microsoft Product

Any product that is poorly designed, easy to hack, bloated, annoying to use, laggy, full of unwanted features, or prone to frequent malfunction.

Not always necessarily a Microsoft product or even any kind of software.
“Sorry I’ll be a little late to the meeting, Teams is being a Microsoft product again.”

“That new game I got off Steam last month crashed five times while I was trying to play it. What a Microsoft product.”

“My new bike’s frame has already started to bend and break like the Microsoft product it is.”
by Shepherd Guy March 14, 2025
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Microsoft Edger

A chronically online tech nerd/gooner with a really small penis that likes to go online a lot and goon. Usually a Reddit user with a neck beard that has no life yet enjoys going online to post dumb shit or belittle others. Not all of them wear fedoras, but some do. Commonly also found on Discord
Hey, did you see the way that person on fb replied to me? It’s giving real Microsoft Edger energy……
by Can you burn a Luigi board November 17, 2025
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Microsoft Paradox

When Windows demands that you change your password, but the only way to do it is through the Microsoft cloud portal, which is locked behind Microsoft Authenticator… and that piece of shit app just spins forever like it’s personally fucking you. The perfect loop of corporate incompetence.
Why is Amber drinking at work?
The Microsoft Paradox raw-dogged her entire morning.
by BranDamag3 November 19, 2025
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My dad Owns Microsoft

The Signature Phrase for any 11-12 year old in an attempt to try to flex what they don't have. These kids are mostly on xbox and/or minecraft
Man:*Winning against child*
Kid: Your a hacker, my dad owns microsoft
by THICCBOU May 16, 2018
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The most common, if not the only message you will see when linking to Microsoft's "solution pages" after using the error reportingfeature

Example: When my PC couldn't play music due to a "missing audio device error" I linked to this message screen.
So I went looking on message boards for similar issue and found one. The person posted about how Microsoft had nothing.
That forum entry was posted two YEARS before.
Me: Oh cool! I can just link to Microsoft's solution page! How convenient....

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

Me: You've got to be kidding. Oh Cool! Windows has a built-in help program....
by Lig Na Baste January 16, 2008
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