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I will send you to Jesus

Stephen He. When your failure is failing so much that not even failure managment will work on him.
by Lol, nub get skill February 3, 2022
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make baby jesus cry

Def 1: When something "makes baby Jesus cry," it means that that something is considered unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil by a certain person or group of people. Yes, and those people may include fundies, who are so into that Jesus thing.

Def 2: The term can also refer to something one may love and enjoy that another person or group may consider evil and/or unpleasant.

Def 3: Moreover, to "make baby Jesus cry" means to do anything(for pleasure or not for pleasure) that certain people consider unpleasant, controversial, and/or evil.
Examples of things that make baby Jesus cry:

Def 1:

Wars, greed, sex, corruption, and power hungriness make baby Jesus cry.

George W. Bush makes baby Jesus cry.

9/11 really made baby Jesus cry.

AOL makes baby Jesus cry.

Bill Clinton's sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky made baby Jesus cry.

The most recent Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 movies sucked so bad, they made baby Jesus cry.

Def 2:

I really love Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, and alot of Norwegian black metal! Their music is so evily awesome it makes baby Jesus cry!

The sex that I had with that hot buxom girl last night was so passionately raw and wild, it made baby Jesus cry!

Def 3:

Timothy McVeigh really made baby Jesus cry when he bombed the Oklahoma Federal Building.

So did the terrorist hijackers on 9/11.

Tonight I am going to make baby Jesus cry by screwing that man's hot wife.
by Mark H July 20, 2004
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Jessums

A classy, smart, and fun lady who holds the key to a man's heart. Strong and self-reliant, and at the same time beautiful, she is kind to those who need a hand. Typically possessing a keen sense of humor, a Jessums is capable of inducing great amounts of happiness to the individual of her choice, and is therefore highly prized by the man who loves her. A Jessums often spurs infatuation in her male partner. She uses her natural charm and attractiveness to create bliss and joy in those who behold her. The most remarkable trait of a Jessums is her humility and accompanying inability to perceive her own beauty and excellence. Meeting a Jessums is a once-in-lifetime opportunity to find the key to happiness.
"My Jessums sent me the best care package the other day."

"Bro, you need to find yourself a Jessums."
by michaelsums December 2, 2013
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kungfu action jesus

Aang from avatar the abridged series who has Jesus power
by sonic869 September 22, 2009
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drinking with jesus

The act of drinking in solitude without the connotation of being an alcoholic.
-I can't believe you pregamed alone last night, you're such a loser.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.
by yeeserious October 20, 2005
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Jesus-Titty-Fucking-Christ

Used - to great effect - by the boss in 'Team America - World Police.'
(Michael Moore enters)

"Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ!!!!"

(Ham flies everywhere)
by Sean Brian Kirby October 8, 2005
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Jesus Land

Any state that gave Bush the electoral vote. Usually directed at the south.
by JohnJohn1186 November 9, 2004
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