Petroleum Popper

The Petroleum Popper is a move usually done on cute, adorable (and consenting) males with big, blue eyes and the most squeezable cheeks. To perform the Petroleum Popper,

you need:
- a wall
- 1 large glass on raw honey
- a Jakub
- Petroleum
- some dextrous fingers (3 is enough)
And that’s it!
First, find a suitable Jakub that fits the aforementioned description. Next, take your Jakub and strip any clothes off (after asking for consent of course). Then pour your raw honey over the entire Jakub, leaving no skin in the open air. An optional addition; you can pour a large dollop of honey down the crack for visual pleasure. Now, my favourite part! Throw that hunk of endearing, 2 beautiful buns babe at a large wall. Quick note, make sure the Jakub is facing away from you with arms and legs spread for easy access. Now do as you wish! I’ve noticed my Jakub perks up a little smile when I slap his buns silly and get my face all up in his chleba! When trying to stick large bad dragons into the behind of the Jakub, make sure to cover the tip to base in strawberry flavoured petroleum jelly. This goes for all Jakubs. Why so specific? I’m trying to find that out myself.

Boostna: Lachit! You should’ve seen the Petroleum Popper I gave to Jakub last night! We’ve upgraded from a 5 inch wide bad dragon to a 12!!!
Bro: Wow, man. my Jakub can barely fit a 3 finger fisting.

by JakubRawHoneySnowBunnyHeaven7 May 13, 2025

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Sloppy Poppy

A sloppy poppy is essentially the sloppiest of all poppy’s. A sloppy poppy is a poppy that simply doesn’t have their shit together and struggles to hold a job down. Aside from consistent unemployment, a sloppy poppy will walk around naked in front of guests, suffer from gout, and suck on the occasional toes of younger girls.

Annie: Bri, your dad is such a sloppy poppy.
Bri: I don’t want to hear it right now, I have a lot on my mind.
Annie: Like what, your credit card debt?
Bri: Stfu, at least my man doesn’t look like Phineas from Phineas and Ferb.
Annie: Yeah but you still have a sloppy poppy…

by handfootandbun May 26, 2025

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parisian popper

Taking a bottle of French champagne, shaking for maximum pop, then inserting rectally and letting the bubbles work their magic

Jimmy grabbed the bottle of champagne, shook it with all his might. This bottle was ready to pop! The cork was popped and up it went!! Jimmy loved the feeling of the Parisian Popper

by anonymous May 30, 2025

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