Mauled by Jesus 

Puts a hangover to shame. Very similar, minus alcohol. You could have waken up feeling totally exhausted after a night of hard partying/dancing, so sore in fact the only thing in the known universe that could cause such tremendous discomfort and pain would be Jesus mauling you.

*next day after party*
Alex: Duuude...that party was intense...how would you describe it?
Connor: I don't remember, but the pain suggests at one point i was mauled by Jesus

Mauled by Jesus by bobbert the ghost eating toast August 22, 2011

Screaming Jesus On A Ferris Wheel 

Phrase used to xpress extreme suprise and shock.

Can be used to get attention and/or a cheap laugh

"screaming jesus on a ferris wheel! What the hell is that!"

"SCREAMING JESUS ON A FERRIS WHEEL!!!"

Screaming Jesus On A Ferris Wheel by Tompson Versetti May 24, 2004

Holy Shittin' Jesus 

What my Jewish grandmother used to say. Like, when she was sewing.

"Holy Shittin' Jesus - I just dropped another button!"

Holy Shittin' Jesus by Sean Brian Kirby October 8, 2005

easus jesus 

Slang name for E&J Whiskey

"get me a bottle of easus jesus, dude"

easus jesus by [SWS]Daltor November 24, 2005

pickled Jesus candles

Those tall jar candles with the bizarre, often gruesome, Catholic iconography on the outside of the jar. Usually found at Mexican markets, religious gift stores, and the ethnic food section at the supermarket.

Shop 'n' Rob in Bay Point has a great selection of pickled Jesus candles.

No, I'm not Catholic, I just like pickled Jesus candles.

pickled Jesus candles by Dr. Badwrench July 12, 2007

CoD Jesus 

Someone that is insanely good at CoD (Call of Duty). CoD is synonymous with MW2 (Modern Warfare 2). A CoD Jesus is a player usually very skilled and often accused of modding, hacking or cheating.

Synonym: Munk3yNuts1

Antonym: F Bobby

Random Player: "OMG that Munk3yNuts1 guy is a CoD Jesus, look at his K/D!!!"

F Bobby: "What about me?"

Random Guy: "Nah, you're negative, MunkeyNuts1 is a CoD Jesus"

CoD Jesus by mynutsonyourface! February 23, 2010

B'jesus 

More than good God and Jeus Christ, this is a crazy amount of shock. Often accompnied by stammering and lack of actual human communication.

B'jesus, 3 nipples maybe but five?? That just takes the piss!

B'jesus by Cowgirl October 29, 2004