Table Spam

All that space-taking crap you find on tables at restaurants--extra drink menus, desert menus, weekly specials menus, Direct TV ads. . .

"Move this damn table spam, I need room for my platter of bottomless chicken wings."

by SaladFork May 13, 2013

Table Lice

The young, usually white, girls who hang out next to the rope in a nightclub's VIP section waiting to be summoned to the table of a gentleman with bottle service. Usually identified by their H&M knock-offs of Herve Leger bandage dresses, these girls are quick to drink your liquor and leave when you run out of vodka. Their retreat is usually marked by loss of cell phone, tears, and walking away barefoot holding Steve Madden heels in their hands. The normal migration home includes vomiting in the back of an Uber or catching the very last train to Suffolk/Nassau/Westchester County or New Jersey.

John: Man, I'm glad we got a table tonight.
Greg: Yeah me too, the table lice are actually pretty strong here. Let's grab that group of three on the edge of the rope over there.

by The_Dabbler April 22, 2016

Table-Bender

A way of describing a woman or man you would like to bend over a table and proceed to have sexual intercourse with.

Wow! She/he is a table-bender for sure!

by D8431 August 23, 2016

Table predator

Noun-

A person who aggressively scouts out tables and takes them as soon as a party gets up from their chairs in a restaurant setting; a person who cuts in front or other people walking towards an open table; a person who waits right next to a party eating just to take their table

I was going to that open table but a table predator cut right in front of me and stole it!
Or
I just saw that lady hip check that little kid; she's such a table predator!

by moyce April 19, 2018

Table Racism

When someone confronts you about breaking a table or flipping on in a sign of anger. Or you just only like one type of table.

Man you only like oak tables, thats pretty Table Racist.

Dude you broke my coffee table, thats a pure sigh of Table Racism you know!

by •River Bridge• May 10, 2018

table nectar

When you touch an unknown substance under a table and assume it’s somthing gross but would rather believe it’s something not gross

Oh shit, I think I just touched some table nectar

by Originaldrizzle July 8, 2018

Table Tug

The act where a person receives a hand job under a dinner table.

John got a table tug from Sally while at his grandparents anniversary dinner.

by Blyler69 June 24, 2019