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Family Cactus

Guy:Hey can I see your family cactus?
Girl:Ew no that's so inappropriate!!!
by 666FamilyCactusLover666 February 14, 2017
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raped by a cactus

When something is so frustrating this is usually said as a response.
"This game is so difficult! It's like being raped by a cactus!"
by hailthemotherland September 22, 2013
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Related Words

Happy Cactus

noun/verb.
plural form: Happy Cacti

When a guy who has participated in "No Shave November" goes down on a girl to eat her out. The rubbing of the stubble against her vagina would be analogous to a cactus rubbing against her flesh. In an added twist, the female has a deflated balloon inserted in her vagina. As the balloon is blown up by the male partner's mouth play, the balloon expands, causing a tickling sensation.

In a male-to-male variation, substitute the vagina for an anus.
Hunter made his girlfriend scream in pain and delight as he gifted the Happy Cactus upon her.

Mitchell's boyfriend made him scream out in pain and unexpected delight as Mitchell was surprise Happy Cactus'ed.
by CPT Morgan, Ph.D. December 2, 2010
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Cactus

An acronym for Cocky Ass Cracker Talking Uber Shit
by LoLHaPpYFaCe May 17, 2011
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Cactus Punch

The act of shaving your nether regions too far in advance of engaging in sexual intercourse; this results in a 5 o'clock shadow causing the sexual partner to feel as if they are being punched in the genitals by a cactus.
I shaved my junk on Wednesday and then hooked up with a chick on Friday. I totally cactus punched her.
by donthejon October 28, 2011
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The Cactus

The delicate art of having sex 2-3 days after shaving your man-pubes, timing it so that your schlong is at the height of the prickly 'Cactus-like' phase.
Guy's Friend - "So, did you have fun with Jessie last night?"

Guy - "Yeah, I totally pulled 'The Cactus' on her, that's what she get's for never making me a sammich!
by CaptainNMorgan July 28, 2010
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The brawl stars cactus

Stupid cactus that commits war crimes and rapes children every day
The brawl stars cactus raped my daughter Jessie.
by Stylix November 25, 2019
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