Just Jesus January 

In contrast to No Nut November and Destroy Dick December, the month of January is given to Jesus. All sexual acts must be committed under his watchful, sultry eyes, preferably with his divine image as inspiration.

"Hey dude, let's go watch some porn and jack off together!"

"No way dude, it's Just Jesus January. I only jack for Jesus."
OR

"Alright dude, but only if it has a scripturally accurate portrayal of Jesus in it. After all, it's Just Jesus January!"

Just Jesus January by Pseudonymous Smosh December 3, 2018

filthy Jesus 

When one performs anal intercourse while moaning a "hail Mary."

Afterwards the male withdraws his fecal covered penis and scrapes off a sample of the blessed shit with two fingers and smears it in the shape of a cross on the subject's forehead as a priest would.

"I stayed late after church and old Father Monroe gave me a filthy Jesus ...The stench was unbearable and it still won't wash off. Crazy enough, I haven't missed church since."

filthy Jesus by Komodai April 25, 2006

wooden jesus 

Jesus, only made of wood

Wooden Jesus is my Wooden savior.

wooden jesus by Wooden Jesus August 23, 2007

Uh Oh Jesus 

Act of spotting a poorly-hidden recording video camera while a female is riding the male in the missionary position.

Ronald: Why was Gabby crying in school today?
Seth: Ryan popped an "Uh Oh Jesus" on the bitch.

Uh Oh Jesus by GregH May 7, 2004

emo jesus 

another term for Criss Angel the best magician in the world

i love watching emo jesus on A&E every wednesday night at 10.

emo jesus by squilliam November 30, 2006

getting my jesus on 

to pray or go to church.

I was trying to get my jesus on when i suddenly noticed that the priest had man boobs

getting my jesus on by Jacob June 24, 2004

Jews for Jesus 

1. An individual who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ and other guidelines for the Christian faith (i.e. religiously celebrating christmas, easter, and other Christian holidays) but still insisting that they are Jewish.
2. People that nobody takes seriously because they are morons.

Jew for Jesus: Good afternoon, I'm a member of the ever growing religious orginization "Jews for Jesus".

Jew: FUCK YOU!

Jews for Jesus by j e w May 19, 2006