asspert

The complete opposite of expert. An asspert gets paid to do something he or she is absolutely no good at. An asspert never improves despite years of practice. Assperts are generally located in high school guidance departments but can be found pretty much anywhere in the education field. An asspert will never accept responsibility for bad advice and will inevitably blame the victim.

Joe: Mr. Dunderhead, Instead of adding my journalism class, you scheduled me for FOUR study halls and canceled a full year class.

Dunderhead: Well, I don't want you to slack off just because you're a senior!

Joe: Well, Mr. Dunderhead, you're the asspert.

by kaykaycee February 28, 2010

Assper

The term you use when you seen cute ass girls with ugly ass guys

Couple walk by, the girl is model material and the guy is a fry cook at McDonalds (he looks the part too)
"That couple is totally assper."

by Rezayne November 9, 2011

Asspect Ratio

The ratio of tits to ass on a woman, with the optimal ratio being 1/3 tits to 2/3 ass.

Brielle has a nice asspect ratio.

by Jack Jack Ganoush Monkey September 7, 2013

asspattie

them ass looking better and more delicious than krabby patties themselves

girl, your asspattie looking fine today

by FookSammich February 18, 2014

Asspiphany

When a guy that doesn't necessarily care for asses sees a girl that gives him a newfound respect for asses.

"Did you see Mackenzie in those jeans?"
"Yeah. I think I just had an asspiphany!"

by Dielawn October 20, 2014

Assparent

Like every pun with ass, this is a good one. Assparent is a transparent or apparent ass showing. Can also be used figuratively, in someone being barely disguised as an asshole. Or a bad parent.

They're featuring a new line of assparent evening dresses.
He is very assparent.
Assparent Plumbing Ltd.

by felixh November 13, 2016

assaphile

One who is or acts like an asshole daily.

"Man you're acting like a real assaphile."

by Bbkf04 April 10, 2017