alien masterbation

sticking a dry finger in an ear.

She alien masterbated her boyfriend.

by jake March 5, 2005

masterbang

banging your master and or pimp; masturbating to you're master and or pimp.

Giullian, why bang bitches when you can masterbang?

by urbandicksonary September 25, 2011

Virtual mutual masterbation

Where you sit on your hand till it falls asleep and then you use it to jackoff so it fells like someone else jacking you off and you imagine some woman's jacking you off.

John is into virtual mutual masterbation.

by Deep blue 2012 May 13, 2010

masterbaking

The process of baking a batch of delicious treats for the sole purpose of eating them all yourself.

Nancy- Sorry I didn't answer your calls last night, I was having a vigorous masterbaking session: 20 muffins baked, 20 muffins consumed.

Beatrice- Oh, I love muffins, you should have invited me round.

Nancy- That would have defeated the purpose.

Beatrice- *hurt feelings*

by falkor swiftly September 10, 2009

Masturbating

The worlds leading cause of blindness

Did you hear that masturbating makes you blind, its true

by Double D123 May 27, 2008

Mentally Masturbating

Adjective: A state a mind where you seem aloof but brain function is occurring.

Just so you don't think I was mentally masturbating all day here is that excel spreadsheet you requested.

by patmyballs July 10, 2009

masturbating to stay warm

An interaction where a person strokes another's ego, which was passively prompted by the recipient of the stroke. "Masturbate" relates to the self-loving aspect of the interaction, while "staying warm" relates to the external stimulus from the compliment.

Joe's Facebook status (selfie in mirror with shirt off): I think my gym membership is paying off.

Pat: Yeah, I've noticed that you're looking mighty fine these days.

Joe: Thanks Pat! *feelings of warmth experienced by Joe*

Pat thinks: Joe is always masturbating to stay warm on Facebook.

by Sisterhood of Words March 27, 2017