misting the lizard

Slang for masturbation by someone who owns a reptile such as a bearded dragon or a green iguana.

Origin: Care of some reptiles require that you mist the animal/enclosure... but people need care, too.
"Is Byron on the phone?"
"Ya, he's talking to some girl and misting the lizard."
"What?"
"Ya, Byron's been misting his lizard a lot lately."
by MyCatThinksItsADog January 11, 2011
Get the misting the lizard mug.

Lizard Folk

Lizard Folk are creatures from a strange and distant planet whose aim is the overthrow and domination of earth.
They attempt(unsuccessfully) to pass unnoticed as human beings.
Lizard Folk may be recognized by the reptile-like formation of their mouth parts, which may be due, in part, to surgery.
The Olsen twins are examples of Reptile-Folk. They have amassed a large fortune by the simple expedient of selling shoddy goods to an unsuspecting public. Surprisingly, they court publicity, even as they attempt to remain anonymous.
Among other known Lizard Folk are: Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Biel, Bruce Jenner, Mickey Rourke, and Kenny Rogers.
by Curt Manners June 30, 2011
Get the Lizard Folk mug.

lizard sandals

the focal point of the greatest victory story mankind has ever heard. so sayeth the slothman
dude that story had the lizard sandals
by That Slothman August 07, 2010
Get the lizard sandals mug.

Lot Lizard

a male or female whore who posts up at truckstops to offer sex for money or smoke drugs in the truck stop bathrooms
“ That Sapp Bros always has a lot lizard smoking meth in the bathroom “
by bingbongfukyalife April 25, 2022
Get the Lot Lizard mug.

Lobby Lizard

A salesman or saleswoman who hang out in hotel lobbies or convention lobbies and offer fellatio in return for a sale. Male lobby lizards tend to be closeted, overweight and unhappy with their lives. While female lobby lizards tend to be confident, hyper-sexual women who will do anything for a sale.
I met a lobby lizard during the tech crunch convention - I ended up buying his software after he traded me use of his body.
by Jeaniesgotagun April 05, 2022
Get the Lobby Lizard mug.

Slot Lizard

Similar to the lot lizard this creature lies and waits in casinos playing slots endlessly, until the spot a John.
Did you see that girl playing the wheel of fortune slot machine? Yeah steer clear I think she is a slot lizard.
by A gentleman from nantucket October 29, 2018
Get the Slot Lizard mug.