Johnny Boi: Kenneth, ah
pure heard that doke gets ya mare
drunk fur less booze!
Kenneth: Aw is that so Johnny Boi? Michty me!
Kenneth: (To bar tender) awright pal, geeze a double vodka, a Glen's eh, and doke would ya? Cheers.
Maria (mainland European): Coca-Cola
Light is not a mixer! You are a weak fool.
Johnny Boi: (To Maria)
Oi shut it you! Aw but yer right!
Johnny Boi: (To Kenneth) Put the Doke down, we need
tae get on the Irn-Bru choo-choo!
Kenneth: (To Johnny Boi) *spits oot beverage* Michty me! Probs just the cancer inducing artificial sweeteners that make the magic happen.
Kenneth: (To bar tender )
Mate, boss man, could a please have a triple Glen's and Irn-Bru Sugar Free? I'll be needing it
tae get me through! Canny believe ah wis supporting the Coca-Cola Company. Irn-Bru for lyf.