A self-proclaimed expert that extorts inflated fees from a host company in return for vague and predominently incorrect business advice.
The successful consultant detaches from its host at the exact moment its parasitic qualities are discovered by upper management. Thus, the successful consultant's term of engagement will last from months to years, until a mildly attentive decision-maker realizes that their burning ray of hope is all talk. Note that some middle managers and all other employees of the host will immediately recognize the consultant as a pathogen.
In order to gain access to a viable host, the consultant preys upon upper managements' lack of job expertise and unrealisistic dreams of grandure. By using a string of buzz-words and metaphors that appear as incoherent babble to most humans, the consultant will usually succeed in gaining an assignment to fix a non-existant problem purportedly caused by the host's employees.
The successful consultant detaches from its host at the exact moment its parasitic qualities are discovered by upper management. Thus, the successful consultant's term of engagement will last from months to years, until a mildly attentive decision-maker realizes that their burning ray of hope is all talk. Note that some middle managers and all other employees of the host will immediately recognize the consultant as a pathogen.
In order to gain access to a viable host, the consultant preys upon upper managements' lack of job expertise and unrealisistic dreams of grandure. By using a string of buzz-words and metaphors that appear as incoherent babble to most humans, the consultant will usually succeed in gaining an assignment to fix a non-existant problem purportedly caused by the host's employees.
"The consultant said that, once he has some free band-width, he will interface with his vast array of important contacts, leverage some syergies, and bring us up to speed with the rest of the industry.....No, really, those were his exact words."
by Booger Snow August 2, 2008
Get the Consultant mug.This is a girl's name. It is originated from Italy meaning "consoled" taken from the title of Virgin Mary. The destination number is 1. According to the destiny number analysis it is always possible to tell when you are upset. You are always looking for a bargain. You often buy things you don't need.
LETTER ANALYSIS
C- You are very emotional and interested in fine arts
O-You are a very closed person. You like keeping secrets and enjoying your privacy. You do not want to explain
yourself to people.
N-You have a great common sense.
S-You like to imagine and when you do you have great fun.
O-"""""""
L-You have the most talented personality.
A-Your sense of analyzing life is stronger. You are known as a reasonable person.
T-You have a hard time expressing your feelings. You are very uncommunicative
A-""""""
CHARACTER ANALYSIS
You enjoy change, travel, and new experiences. You go out of your way to assist in creating fairness. Your lack of patience and consistency in your affairs and your tendency to act impulsively can lead to actions you later regret taking, particularly to the head. You are very creative. Health weaknesses could also affect the eyes, ears or sinuses. You are prone to suffer moods of depression, and physical and mental tension which could have a serious affect upon the nervous system. You lose interest quickly once things become routine, as you dislike being forced to do monotonous work. You very honest and sincere in your personal relationships.
LETTER ANALYSIS
C- You are very emotional and interested in fine arts
O-You are a very closed person. You like keeping secrets and enjoying your privacy. You do not want to explain
yourself to people.
N-You have a great common sense.
S-You like to imagine and when you do you have great fun.
O-"""""""
L-You have the most talented personality.
A-Your sense of analyzing life is stronger. You are known as a reasonable person.
T-You have a hard time expressing your feelings. You are very uncommunicative
A-""""""
CHARACTER ANALYSIS
You enjoy change, travel, and new experiences. You go out of your way to assist in creating fairness. Your lack of patience and consistency in your affairs and your tendency to act impulsively can lead to actions you later regret taking, particularly to the head. You are very creative. Health weaknesses could also affect the eyes, ears or sinuses. You are prone to suffer moods of depression, and physical and mental tension which could have a serious affect upon the nervous system. You lose interest quickly once things become routine, as you dislike being forced to do monotonous work. You very honest and sincere in your personal relationships.
Guy 1:Dude my friend called Consolata want to be friends with you.
Guy 2:Damn i have a feeling my life's gonna be better.
Guy 2:Damn i have a feeling my life's gonna be better.
by Peachfruitloops November 5, 2020
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The french fries in the bottom of the fast food bag. Just when the disappointment sets in that you've finished your fries, you are pleasantly surprised to find a few more Consolation Fries at the bottom of the bag.
I was sad when I finished my fries before I got home, but at least there are Consolation Fries left.
by Jane Mc February 2, 2009
Get the Consolation Fries mug.Independent contractors brought in by upper management under the auspices of "streamlining work flow", but in actuality to suggest what positions can be eliminated thus reducing headcount and overhead for purposes of downsizing.
In the movie "Office Space" the characters referred to as "The Bobs" are classic examples of chainsaw consultants. The main character avoids being fired through a combination of unexpected brutal honesty about his lack of passion for his position, and also engendering camaraderie with those sent to determine if his
job is really necessary.
job is really necessary.
by Cale Dempster December 18, 2008
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by Dollarbill85 September 1, 2010
Get the Consult Professor Hans Jerkov mug.by 666Mike999 August 17, 2006
Get the consultant mug.Consolation success or a consolation achievement is when you put a lot of effort and concentration into achieving something or getting better at something, and only after you've tried for so long that you begin to give up, do things start to "work out" for you. Often, it is more of a slap in the face than a happy acquisition. The consolation comes in giving you your success only because you worked yourself so hard that you gave up and life begins to feel sorry for you. God's way of playing keep away perhaps.
"After so many years in the movie business and his involvement in tonnes of great films, Christopher Plummer only received his first oscar in 2012, at the age of 83. That consolation success must feel more painful than if he retired with no award at all."
by cursedkid March 31, 2013
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