straightjacket snuggie

A regular blanket.

After wrestling my straightjacket snuggie for 15 minutes, I was forced to either endure the chilling horrors of a cold remote hand or Tyler Perry's television programs.

by themilkmantrink September 30, 2011

straightard

The word gay people use to call a straight person a retard.

The opposite of gaytard

Ola: Hey gaytard
Emory: Hey straightard

by silly phillie November 24, 2010

hair straightener hickey

burns on the neck from hair straighteners that look like hickeys.

Everyone thought it was a real hickey, but it was just a hair straightener hickey.

by chicken burrito September 26, 2011

straightbreaker

someone of the same sex, usually a celebrity figure, who would cause a straight person to turn gay

Kat Von D is totally a straightbreaker. If I was a lesbian, I'd totally hit that.

by wildflower3915 January 7, 2009

straightalator

a flat escalator (usually found in airports)

I take the straightalator so I don't have to walk as far in the airport.

I would have missed my flight is it wasn't for the straightalator.

by mkate28 November 15, 2010

Straightened the Rainbow

1. When her booty so fat, pussy ain't flat, and titties where it's at, it can make a gay man's dick say, "Hello!"

2. When his stomach so flat, his dick's a bat, and he shaved his mat, it can make a lesbian's pussy go "splat."

1. When Drake saw a real woman for the first time, it straightened the rainbow. So he went and dumped his boyfriend Hailey.

2. When Michelle caught a glimpse of David's long dong, it straight up straightened the rainbow. So she went and dumped her girlfriend Claudia.

by bangbangnibba November 7, 2016

Dick Straightener

The ability to hit someone with such great force that it causes them to get an instant erection.

Coach Mitch- "Holy cow that was a garsh darn good hit!"

Coach Stew- "That kid right there is a dick straightener!"

Coach Mitch- "Easy.."

by CoachStew February 17, 2010