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I shit you not one cent

used to describe the wildest part of a story is 101% true, no matter how insane it might seem
"i dropped my sandwich and i shit you not one cent, it landed perfectly back on the plate!"
by Insert inside joke here August 26, 2022
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Don't shit where you eat

Do not cause trouble in a place where you must be on a regular basis. Often used with workplace romances but can also apply to relationships with students at your school or starting shit in general.
Kyle tried to ask Jennifer out. I told him don't shit where you eat.
by A1988 February 16, 2020
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don't shit where you eat

This phrase means "do not have romantic relationships with any co-workers." Basically, you don't want to make yourself uncomfortable (by potentially having a romantic relationship get ugly, or "shitting") at the place where you work ("where you eat").
Dude #1: "damn a really hot blonde just started working at my company. i'm gonna ask her out"
Dude #2: "dude, haven't you heard the saying: Don't shit where you eat?"
by whodey June 16, 2004
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Don't shit where you sleep

Don't mess things up where you live or work
My friend was acting ungrateful to his roommate and I said don't shit where you sleep dude
by Catwoman1995 August 13, 2017
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did you shit the bed?

what you say to someone who turns up to work ridiculously early, as everyone knows this sort of eager beaver behaviour would only be acceptable if you had actually shat the bed, were forced to get out of it, and had nothing better to do than come to work.
colleague not due to start work till 9 showing up at 8.15: good morning!
me: did you shit the bed?!
by me old fruity October 1, 2006
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have you shit the bed

A term used to mock someone when they are up early in the morning (meaning they aren't usually up early)
It's only 5am,have you shit the bed?
by Lee.w October 31, 2017
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you shit me

What you say when you hear something from someone that you don't beleive. Something unthinkable is being explained, your response. Reciprocated more often than not with "I shit you not".
p1: Dude, you guys got to meet Samuel L Jackson? Your shitting me!

p2: I shit you not dude! I shook the motherfucker's hand!
by Hyper-z July 5, 2005
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