Demon Pension

Another word for Semen Retention; Males retaining their semen during sexual intercourse. Just like a pension, you're saving it all up for a greater and more meaningful investment.

Man: " Yo Jemit, I made her cum twice and still made sure my shit was on demon pension"

Jemit: " Whhhhat, no way! How do you make a girl cum?"

by bramptonshordy June 1, 2020

old age pensioner

miserable tight old cunt who cant afford to buy a round of beer

person 1: oi its your round
person 2: i cant afford this im a old age pensioner

by vWarspite August 12, 2022

pensioner's leg

A thin, pale, knobbly, veiny penis.

by Anonymous September 2, 2003

Misplaced Pensioner

A game for multiple people where one person takes a confused OAP and leaves them somewhere random. It's up to the others to find the Pensioner before they starve to death.

Steve: How's your grandad?
Dave: Didn't you hear? We were playing Misplaced Pensioner and just didn't get to him in time

by IDrinkAndKnowThings June 21, 2023

pensionered

Describing someone who is paralytically drunk. This could include, but is not limited to, the person shitting or pissing their pants.

1) We just sat about getting pensionered on brandy.
2) She got so pensionered that she shat her pants.

by Dyltong June 18, 2013

Pensioners

As in Pensioners Nap. A short snooze (usually no more than 20 Min) which seems to have god like powers of ressurection.

After last nights session i'm hooped. I could do with a pensioners.

by Big Shag. January 16, 2010

relationship pension

n. The benefits one may retain after peacefully breaking up with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Thew: Am I entitled to a relationship pension?
Carmen: Are you on crack??
Thew: C’mon, why not?
Carmen: You called me a trifling cunt not more than two days ago. Consider me Enron!

by Ethereal Astronaut April 25, 2006