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Condom

Your mom and dad didn't use condoms at some point
by Your mom's perfume May 19, 2021
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Condom

"Dad, what's a condom?"
"Honey, it's a rain jacket for your penis."
"Dad?!?! WHA T THE HELL??!!!!"
by SKKW1313 June 10, 2015
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Crapper Condom

The thin round piece of paper found in public restrooms. It is used to place on the toilet seat to protect oneself from ass fungus.
"Dude, they didn't have any crapper condoms in the mall restroom, so I shit my pants, but, you know, better safe than sorry."
by Alan1999 August 4, 2008
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female condom

A female condom can be placed directly in the pussy of a woman. It can be useful for a threesome when there is one guy and two girls. This way the guy can switch holes without sharing an STI between the two girls.
It can also be useful if a guy wants to switch between vaginal and anal sex with just one girl. By adding a female condom in both holes, it protects vaginal flora.
If a sexfriend tells me she knows another girl interested in a threesome, it will be more fun with female condoms!
by Find a Wingman May 24, 2020
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jesus condom

Having unprotected sex with your girlfriend or wife and praying to Jesus that you didn't get her pregnant.
What!? You can't be pregnant again, I was wearing a Jesus Condom.
by JMU April 26, 2007
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Condom Mining

Realizing at some point during or after intercourse that your condom has ejected itself and is now, through repeated ram-rodding, nested itself as far into her vagina as possible, you have no choice but to do the gentlemanly thing and retrieve it -'through whatever means necessary'.
Loser: "What'd you do last night?"

Stud: "I was knocking the back out of Sheila's vaj. When I finally pulled out after a good 30 to 45 seconds of awesome lovemaking, I realized my Magnum had abondoned ship. I was wrist deep in her coochie doing some series condom mining. Bitch owes me big time!"
by orientxp June 3, 2010
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[condom]

Cheapest prevention of a thousand problems in existence. For just a buck, you can avoid thousands in court costs, child support, medical bills for some nasty STDs, and you KNOW the kid isn't yours!
Condom: No glove, no love. Unless you're dumb enough to want an entirely different(and truly painful)kind of screwing.
by KrimsonSmartass January 13, 2009
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