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concussive narwhal syndrome

*concussive narwhal syndrome (n.) - { sydromius concussive narwhalius } the result of getting into boxing match with a narwhal and getting hit, resulting in a severe concussion. followed by narwhal syndrome which can cause the victim to rapidly turn into a narwhal and/or the following:

bruises, sores, headaches, blisters, temporary blindness, diabetes, hearing loss, concussions, acne, congestion, deepening of the voice, impairment, lung cancer, OCD, alektorophobia, Mexico, racism, fever, rapid change in skin color, stupid, brain aneurysms, ADHD, insomnia, binge eating, bipolar depression, color blindness, pregnancy, Jake from state farm, dementia, hallucinations, household object eating disorder, heart failure, t-rex disease, lactose intolerance, obesity, swelling, standing on walls, high cholesterol, claustrophobia, compulsive cannabilism, Canada, phobophobia, chronic liver failure, dyslexia, back pain, asthma, COPD, pollen allergies, corpse husband, PTSD, black plague, hysteria, carbon monoxide poisoning, genesis, rapid change in race, hanahaki disease, chronic shrinking, autism, bioterorism, couch potato syndrome, dad went to get milk disorder, death, armageddon, disbelief in narwhals, etc.

* this is not real

UPDATE on concussive narwhal syndrome study: it causes everything, you can't hide. you have it. your mom has it. your dog has it. the weed in your front yard has it.

narwhals rule over us
gabby: " yea, my dad doesn't believe in narwhals"
riley: "oh- he must have concussive narwhal syndrome"
by gawrmochiii September 13, 2022
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jumping to conclusions

paige and grace when there is no one else on the group facetime

they always think that everyone else is in another chat talking shit about them
paige and grace are always jumping to conclusions
by gordo the dog July 9, 2019
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Conclusion

1. The result or outcome of an act or process.
2. To come to a conclusion too quickly, without sufficient thought or evidence.
1. After a tough hour with the math problem, he finally came to a conclusion.

2. "She saw me and her best friend on the couch talking and she jumped to conclusions"
by Rebanex May 18, 2008
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Concussive Maintenance

The act of smashing ones head against a possibly broken object, but usually out of frustration, until that person begins to think they have fixed it.
He performed concussive maintenance on his keyboard until his brain thought he had done enough to get good
by Regisfuror May 19, 2020
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Optical Conclusion

Optical Conclusion- When someone tells you the ending of a movie you haven't seen yet.
1. That was the worst Optical conclusion I have ever herd slash seen!

2. Dang it Jairus! Why do you always ruin the movie with an Optical Conclusion.

3. I don't want to see that, Shane already told me the Optical Conclusion.
by Voltronn October 21, 2010
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collusive

The act of trading players (in secret) in a fantasy league, so that you "stack" a certain team, to benefit one of the managers so that this team becomes a dominant force, also know as conniving. By the way I did it, it's illgeal to do.
"Wow, Ryan and Nick are really good at the collusive crap, were getting screwed."
by Nicholas K. May 3, 2006
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conclusional

making conclusions in the state of confusion and delusion
My conclusional friend makes decisions based on illusions of false hope.
by bid123456 November 29, 2011
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