A Conserv-absurd is an argument that provides poor reasoning in support of its conclusion. Conserv-absurds differ from other bad arguments in that right-wing people find these psychologically persuasive, and therefore mistakenly believe its conclusion to be true even though it’s false.
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
There they go again trying to blame everything on the “liberal media.” But Conserv-absurds are the real reason the country is going down the toilet!
by ConcealedID July 13, 2009
Get the Conserv-absurd mug.I didn;t even realize I had to shat, and next thing you know I had an absurd turd. It was bigger than a baby, my poo baby!
by Bud E Love May 14, 2003
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Hym "I'm glad the absurdity of the world continues to keep me (morally) in the clear. The Lizzard is doing God's work over there. Hahaha! That is great. You guys are the fucking worst. First you try to win the game. Now you're trying to prove that you're right. Why not just cut your losses and take the 'L'? 'We ShOuLdN't HaVe To LoSe To YoU!!! yOuR'e NoT bEtTeR tHaN aLl Of Us!!!' Oh! Be careful! That sounds familiar! You're starting to sound like ME! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Holy shit! This. Is. Priceless. You HAVE to see how ridiculous this is! There is no way you don't! Hahaha! I can't! I just can't! Why do you guys have to be like this? And on a different note; swollen? Really!? You gotta do better than that! You're almost as bad a Shuuji over there! It does hurt a little bit though. When I bite or open my jaw. Ouch. I appreciate you thinking about me though. Whatever makes you feel better about the situation. Anywho... I wild. And to think, if I hadn't been hired to work in a sex cult none of us would be here right now. I still wouldn't be getting any but I'd probably be striving valiantly toward the future and you wouldn't know I existed. I'd still have people following me but think of all the things that wouldn't have been if I had kept my mouth shut. Hahahahahahaha aha aha! Hoooooo... This is tragic. Truly and seriously tragic."
by Hym Iam June 14, 2022
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