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Masturbation Rampage

1. When you masturbate so often that the load becomes smaller until you either lose sensation or cannot shoot off.

2. When you become so obsessed with masturbating that you blow off your friends for it.
1. When I came back from Puerto Rico early, I was disappointed to find my husband unable to pleasure me. He was on a masturbation rampage the whole time.

2. Jim: Hey Carl wanna go drinking?
Carl: Nah man, i have the urge to vigorously touch myself until my body tells me I have to stop.
by irock123007 April 26, 2010
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Masturbation

Masturbation is perfectly natural. almost all guys do this:

Wait until your home alone or at night,
then go to your room and close the door.
take off all your clothes and grasp your penis in any or both hands. (make sure yiu have a box off kleenex near by)
then slowly begin to rub your penis until you get to a pace you like,
then rub faster at your choice of pace,
then rub really fast until you ejaculate which feels really awsome,
then wipe up the sperm (or in some cases, lick it up) this is best done while sitting in a chair or lying down, looking at porn or other sources of hornyness
well, im off do some masturbation, bye (dont listen to anyone who says its bad for you, its completely healthy.... just dont do it before you fuck a hoe or she'll be dissapointed
by some guy 500 March 20, 2009
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Forced Masturbation

When one person forces another person to masturbate in front of them by using domination tactics.
She won't touch you but she will use forced masturbation on you
by Martock August 4, 2016
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masturbation

is not a crime!

one of the few things, thats fun but not a crime
'but sarge, that dirty old woman shouldn'y have been looking in the first place, besides, im sure its not her first experience of masturbation''
by tommy060289 July 14, 2006
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Verbal masturbation

n. (v. Verbally masturbating)
Describes a person using (or trying but fails) extremely flamboyant, overelaborate, pendantic, overembellished, pompus, language seasoned with a lot of jargon from a certain discipline, sometimes to the extent that it has to be translated or deciphered to be intelligible for the common man; done with the unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate when communicating completely mundane things. May be done with the intent of making others feel inferior…and/or himself superior, part of role-playing, humour, being an idiot, (trying to) showing off how smart you are, and as mentioned an unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate. The true verbal masturbators are the pretentious ones who try but utterly fail because they use words they do not understand and use words across a jargon (inconsistency). Verbal masturbation may or may not appear redundant; however the redundancy is from the choice of words used and not necessarily by its meaning. Additionally, some may feel others are verbally masturbating but do so wrongfully because the situation requires being meticulously accurate

Non exhaustive examples of jargon used are:

Scientific: (star trek, professor Frink from The Simpson’s),
Forensic: (CSI, Sherlock Holmes),
Arcane: (old language, medieval, lord of the rings, star wars),
Prose/poetic: (rhymes, poetic symbolic uses etc. of language usually belonging to the literature world)
dictionary: (sounding like one…)
Leet (1337): sounding like a nerd/geek
girl: romeo and juliet was so romantic and such a deep movie
guy: romeo & juliet with leo dicaprio is one big verbal masturbation from start to end. the rhyming is done with so much intensity and pompousness its embarrasing to watch.
------
Data: "If you are referring to sexuality, I am... fully functional, programmed in... multiple techniques."
Borg Queen: "How long since you've used them?"
Data: "Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two seconds..."
(data is verbally masturbating, as he always has)
-----
John cleese: He's not pinin'! he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! he's expired and gone to meet his maker! he's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! his metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! he's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! (an excellent example of verbal masturbation used in humour)
by broccolee July 30, 2008
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masturbation party

Can be a group of all girls, all guys, a mix, whatever. When a group of people get together and one person starts masturbating, and one by one, everyone starts to join in and masturbated until everyone gets off, or the last one to get off just can't do it.
I went to a masturbation party with a bunch of girls, it was crazy. So much moaning and rubbing, and fingering, tits galore. Amazing. It was like Heaven.
by Dave Halliday July 12, 2005
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Mental Masturbation

Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose. Excessively theoretical, and therefore a distraction from more practicable matters.
Dr. Richard Dawkins, noted biological theorist, in response to a student's philosophical question about skeptical attitudes towards science and reality, cited the following anecdote:

<paraphrasing>
James Boswell asked, "... nothing really exists unless there's somebody there to see it. How do you refute that?" Samuel Johnson replied, "I refute it thus!", and kicked a stone out of his way.
<\paraphrasing>

Dr. Dawkins, commenting on Boswell's question, and critiquing the attitude: "If you want to mess about with that sort of mental masturbation, thats fine, but, ... but the science of reality is what gets you through the day, ... and makes things work!"
by The Practical Atheist December 12, 2009
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