Handjob

A sexual act that a female/male/anyone can commit. It feels very pleasurable if you do it right. It usually involves someone using their hand to stroke their lover's penis to arouse them. To start at the shaft and work your way up and down. Ya know? Good. Goes along with a blowjob sometimes too. Really revs people's engines! Like so. 👇🏻

"Maggie gave me a handjob last night. It was a total shock but I enjoyed it! She really knows how to utilize her hand. "

"That's amazing. Good for you, buddy."

" I mean once she started stroking it, there was no complaints about her not listening to me rant about the abomination that is Donald Trump and pineapple pizza."

"Okay??"

"We decided to save that for cuddling after sex. Maybe she'll even give me head for Halloween."

"......"

"......"

"So. What's your girl doing for you on SpookyHalloween™? Meme costumes and candy up your ass?"

I don't know what the hell I'm doing someone push me out a window. Pls. I beg.

by whomstthefuckareyou April 16, 2018

western grip handjob

very similar to its long lost cousin the, traditional handjob, but the performer's hand is in such position that the thumb and forefinger hole is the first thing to hit the base as opposed to the pinky. Making what could be considered a reversed, better feeling hand vagina.

We were standing face to face, so she gave me a western grip handjob.

by nahleydaman March 29, 2010

ranch handjob

When two or more cowboys jack off each other in a speed competition. The winner gets to ride the other participants Bareback mountain style.

Man Ben got ridden hard by Billy Bob George the cowboy after he lost at a game of ranch handjobs.

by VinceNoir June 23, 2006

Mississippi Handjob

When you have anal sex with a girl/guy and finish by getting a footjob because their hands are too busy holding the meth pipe.

Sis gave me the ol Mississippi Handjob since her hands were too busy with finishing up pa.

by Jimmy RJ Lennon March 2, 2014

sand paper handjob

when you partner takes a fine grit piece of sandpaper and wraps it around your dong before jerking you off. Usually done to one who is passed out as an act of revenge. Sometimes the assailant will pour 151 alcohol on it so the burn will really intensify.

Dustyn woke up this morning to a bloody crotch. He then remembered passing out drunk after sharing a bottle of 151 with his ex boyfriend Rich. As an act of sabotage Rich waited until Dustyn fell asleep and gave him a sand paper handjob topping it off with a little 151 to boot.

by dusty zub's August 17, 2011

handjob

The least satisfying sexual activity possible, on both ends.

1. "Ugh... I hate giving my boyfriend handjobs. They're tedious, they take forever, and I never know what to do with the rest of my body during it. It just feels so... obligatory..."

2. "Ugh... I hate it when my girlfriend gives me handjobs. She does them terribly, she seems bored, and frankly... I can do that myself."

by someguywithajob September 9, 2011

inverted handjob

When a man does a handstand while a woman gives him a handjob

John removed his trousers and did a handstand. Lisel gave him a handjob. Thus, an inverted handjob was performed at a high level of expertise.

by INVERTEDHJ4LIFE May 25, 2006